2011 - New Year's Greetings

May you endure another year (Luke 21:19)
with the help and grace of God.

We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day. ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce

The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul. ~ G.K.Chesterton

Wistful...

I hadn't thought about this song in years, but was reminded of it again recently. Oh, How it resonates, so beautifully.

Neil Young - Unknown Legend

She used to work in a diner
Never saw a woman look finer
I used to order just to watch
her float across the floor
She grew up in a small town
Never put her roots down
Daddy always kept movin',
so she did too.

Somewhere on a desert highway
She rides a Harley-Davidson
Her long blonde hair
flyin' in the wind
She's been runnin' half her life
The chrome and steel she rides
Collidin' with
the very air she breathes
The air she breathes.

You know it ain't easy
You got to hold on
She was an unknown legend
in her time
Now she's dressin' two kids
Lookin' for a magic kiss
She gets the far-away look
in her eyes.

Somewhere on a desert highway
She rides a Harley-Davidson
Her long blonde hair
flyin' in the wind
She's been runnin' half her life
The chrome and steel she rides
Collidin' with the very
air she breathes
The air she breathes.

Merry Christmas

We do things differently here in the Keys.



...but some things are the same.
O Come let us adore him ~ Christ the Lord!

pic by suburbanslice

Love without Regret

I can honestly say, that I have no regrets about who I married, about who I love. There is no old beau about whom I wonder, "What if..." I think that's a common theme of love songs and romance novels, but not for me. I wish those old boys well, but I am seriously happy with the man with whom I have spent over half my life with. And I don't believe the grass is greener anywhere else. Marriage is just hard sometimes, some years even, but the companionship and affection that grows through every challenge has been worth all the trouble and effort.
~ Happy Birthday to my partner and friend; my love and soul mate. ~

Census Information

I have been a stay-a-home-mom (abbreviated SAHM) for a long time, with occasional bouts of outside employment, and those temporary jobs tend to stand out. Many years ago, I worked for Census 2000 and in a way, enjoyed it. It was nice to get out of the house, my coworkers were pleasant, though mostly we worked alone. I occasionally took my baby daughter in her stroller as I interviewed folks and filled out their questionnaires, walking door-to-door through shady neighborhoods in pleasant weather.

I thought about that brief job recently after watching the excellent Nativity Story and being reminded that Mary and Joseph traveled to Bethlehem because of the census in their day, and thus an old prophecy regarding the Messiah's birth was fulfilled.

So, today in honor of my stint of employment with Census 2000, and in honor of that ancient census, I give you this cool tool:

Mapping America - City and Block
You can type in your city, state or zip and find out some demographic info. I liked comparing New York City to my little town - the density of NYC and the sparsity of this little key/island's population was remarkable! I was also interesting to see that the racial/ethnic make-up on this little key was almost as colorful and diverse as NYC, though the population was greatly reduced. We don't have a big Asian population like NY does. I looked up places I'd lived before and the places of some of my relatives, and compared.
I found the application on zefrank's site.

Church Persecution from Within?

"In my honest opinion one of the big problems we have today in the church is that we are all so comfortable. We don't really know who the real believers are vs. those who claim Christ but have no intention of living for Him when they get uncomfortable.

Other countries who experience what we traditionally think of as persecution know who the enemy is. Our persecution comes from individuals who verbally claim Christ yet persecute the church from within."
-A Pastor's Wife

These thoughtful words were written in response to a question posed to minister's wives about whether or not they can be close friends with people within the congregations where they serve. That is an interesting subject, and important to me right now, as I navigate through hurt, strained and lost friendships, though mine are not within the church, but within my extended family. However this dimension of the subject is not what I'm focusing on right now.

What I'd like to explore today is the notion that the Western Church is suffering from persecution from within. I find this an a very interesting concept. For discussion purposes here, I would define traditional persecution as radical harm done to a group of people who hold to a differing belief system. By radical harm I mean serious threats and actual violence, and loss of basic human rights to the persecuted group.

Is the church really persecuted by people who are within the church, calling themselves Christians, yet do not genuinely follow Christ with their actions? There are numerous warnings in the New Testament regarding such people. We are encouraged to beware of wolves in sheep's clothing who would do harm to the flock. There are mentions of those who taught heretical doctrines being dis-fellowship-ed. There is also an account of someone who was in a flagrant sin (sleeping with his father's wife) being dis-fellowship-ed. This was all to keep the Gospel message on track, so that others would not be led astray. It also served the purpose that hopefully the estranged one would grasp the reality of their sin and desire to leave it behind and return again to a right standing with the Lord and His faithful followers.

How do we tell the difference between a person who is indeed a wolf, and one who is simply a stumbling or weak Christian? I make that distinction because hopefully a weak or stumbling Christian is moving toward spiritual growth and maturity. The scriptures say we'll know a tree by it's fruit. That would lead me to conclude that we can tell by the consistent actions of an individual whether or not they are real or genuine. I say consistent because everyone has times and instances of stumbling. In the life and heart of a true Christian those should be rather isolated incidences and become fewer and farther between as time goes on. Scripture also teaches that a "humble and contrite" attitude show repentance. True repentance is change: A change in character, priorities and actions.

What types of people characterize the majority in our churches? Are our churches full of those who seem to only have a marginal commitment evidenced by a life of compromise? Or, are our churches full of people who are growing and changing, perhaps stumbling a bit here and there, but otherwise are truly a 'light' evidenced by good works? Jesus gave a parable about a field that was planted with wheat. During the night an enemy came and planted weeds among the good wheat seeds. Later they both grew together and Jesus said it would be sorted out at the harvest time. I suppose then that this is nothing new. However, it does seem more pronounced these days. Perhaps the fact that the Western Church is not under persecution influences the proliferation of half-hearted or disingenuous Christians. The threat of real persecution sifts those who are ardently committed from those who care little.



I think that the persecution from within is an interesting notion but not quite an accurate description for what is going on. I think what we are seeing is complacency and laziness and "the little foxes spoiling the vine." We are seeing a gradual spiritual decline, it's corrupt, distasteful, and so very sad, but I cannot call it persecution from within. Persecution denotes a radical subjugation and imminent danger. Our lazy Western spirituality is a gradual slide down a slippery slope. God, I hope we wake up.
Was there ever a time when the church was more good than bad? It seems so to me.

Funny Friday - Lost In Translation

Huh? From here via regretsy.*Please note that Regretsy is a humor site but often features adult language and content. The wall art phrase reminds me of the classic "All your base are belong to us," see here.

*ALSO*
Check out the Daily Weaving Blog for a beautiful contest giveaway, and because it's just a really cool blog.
The Daily Weaving: Gift Giveaway!

Does Xmas Offend You?

This time of year there is always controversy over the various aspects of Christmas. Discussions over many things such as the materialism and commercialization of the holiday, and the fact that some governments and municipalities would like the religious expressions of Christmas censored. One topic that invariably comes up among various Christian groups and people is the abbreviation of Christmas into Xmas. Many people believe that it is a literal crossing or deleting out of Christ from the holiday. Personally, this never really offended me or struck me as disrespectful to Jesus Christ, even when I was a child, or later a young adult who was questioning, doubting and at times mocking of religious things. For me, the most basic symbol of Christ and Christianity is the cross. I carried the notion that since an X is a tilted cross, it is easy to see how it came to represent Christ. I recalled that there was a time when many people weren't able to read or write very much if at all. If the occasion arose for them to sign an important document, and to express consent that they acknowledged and understood what the document meant, they would make an X. For me it was an official symbol, and therefore an important mark. It was not always the symbol of crossing out or mistakes, which of course, it does also stand for. Only when I became a born again Christian and heard other Christians voice concerns about it did I wonder if it was meant to insult or remove the Christ aspects of Christmas. It seems that my suspicions were correct and there is a Christian symbolic history in writing Xmas. Here are a few interesting and informative articles on the subject:
The Origin of "Xmas"
Merry Xmas blog entry

Chi Rho
The first two letters, Chi (Χ) and Rho (Ρ), of the Greek word for Christ (Χριστύς).

Have a Beautiful Day

NOW! Go do it. That's an order!

No Rest for the Acrimonious

ac·ri·mo·ni·ous [àkrə mṓnee əss]
adj
resentful and angry: full of or displaying anger and resentment

synonyms: spiteful, rancorous, discordant, hostile, unfriendly, harsh

The recent holidays remind us of what we're thankful for, and they also can remind us of the more difficult and unpleasant aspects of family life. My extended family has changed over the years and not exactly for the better. I would be lying if I said that it did not make me a little sad. Though I certainly have much more to be thankful for and to count as blessings than what I feel has been 'lost.'

I was recently reminded of a quote in a movie. The character was supposedly quoting Bob Marley, the influential musician. It went like this: The evil people of the world do not take a day off and neither should the good ones. And even though Bob Marley had some interesting and unorthodox beliefs and practices, he also knew the Bible and that is where the foundation of that quote comes from.

So this post is to remind us that even when we feel weary and beaten down, discouraged, unloved and unappreciated, mocked, ignored and abused, we should not let it stop us or get us down or let it change us for the worse. The Bible says to not be overcome with evil but to overcome evil with good; And not to get weary with doing good.
Be encouraged.
Be strong.
Chin up and go on.
Do good today and every day.
The Lord will make a way.

Funny Friday

This is a popular hip-hop song from a few years back. If you live in a Conservative Christian Bubble, like me, you are not very aware of those things. Just take a moment and listen to the song for about 20-30 seconds. Then look at this:

Ch, Chh, Chh, Changes....

A recent post over at MMI had me thinking about change. MMI was discussing change in churches, but I am thinking of it generally as it relates to every facet in life. I have gone through more changes that you can count, and in so many ways. I think that I am one person who is not immediately adverse to change, but rather accepting of it. I'm not sure how I came to be that way but I suspect it was because my family made many moves when I was a child and two of them were major, cross-country moves. When we considered our last major change, about 2 years ago when we moved down here, my mother was very concerned about how the move would affect our oldest child who would begin his sophomore year of high school in our new home. I reminded my mom of all the moves they dragged me through, I went to 3 separate high schools, and it was halfway through my sophomore year that I settled into the high school I would graduate from. Change was very difficult and even painful for me back then, but I became grateful for it, and I believe that it only enriched my life. Nothing in this life ever stays the same. Everything changes, and yet nearly everyone I know is so resistant to it. Why is that?

A Solemn Occasion

No new post, just a link to an old one.

Thank You Veterans and Active Duty Military!

If it weren't for you, brave souls, I would not be able to sit here typing and having the liberty to do the many things I do. My children live free, O thank you for that, and a million other things I'm not quite sure how to put into words.
photo from here.

Journal entry: When people show you who they are, believe them

This is a journal entry from some months ago. It's very personal stuff, might not be everyone's cup of tea. Winter/Spring 2010

photo by Paul Worthington

"When people show you who they are, believe them."
- Maya Angelou
quote from Batman Begins:
"...it's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you."

About twelve years ago someone recommended the book "Boundaries" by Doctors Cloud and Townsend. In it's own way, you could consider it the Christian version of "Co-Dependent No More" which is the self-help bible for those in close relationships with addicts or abusive people of one kind or another. Besides the Bible, I think it is the book that most changed my life for the better. I had trouble with a variety of my relationships, let me just say that alcoholism was a factor in some of the relationships, though there were other factors as well. I was a doormat. I was loathe to say no to people when they asked me to do things for them, even things they shouldn't have asked, or things that most people wouldn't dare to ask. I would put up with rude comments without complaint or acknowledgment. Instead of expressing my thoughts and feelings in a healthy way, I would internalize it and have a lot of seething anger and resentment. I believe God sent those books into my life as a supplement for the way He was changing me, helping me and growing me as His child and follower. So with much prayer I went forward and those books helped me to implement healthy tools and ways of coping with not only difficult people, but every person in my life.

The amazing thing was, when I began setting the healthy boundaries my relationships with a few people improved! However, the improvement wasn't until after an initial difficult period of time. The transition was uncomfortable. Some people didn't want to respect my healthy boundaries at first. Eventually they did, though, and then our relationship grew and flourished. A new, improved relationship was built out of the ashes of the old one. There was more respect and honesty. It was/is great.

I thought that because I experienced this good growth and change in a few relationships, that all my relationships would be that way! Boy, was I wrong! And I say that with wide eyes and a smile on my face, even though it's sad to lose friends. I don't think I consciously believed that, or even thought much about my new boundary changes bringing healing and good in my all relationships in those specific terms. I think it was more of me just not realizing that simply because I was ready for health and change for the better, everyone else would be as well. Do all of us have a tendency to automatically view people from the filter of our experience, rather than realizing that every single individual has a different perception and perspective on life? I am guilty of that. I think sometimes because I try to be a loyal friend and have an open heart everyone else is basically that way, but they are not, no more than everyone loves dark chocolate and Monty Python like I do. Surely some people want a friend who is a doormat. They aren't interested if the rug they wipe their feet on is ready to be wall tapestry. Some are not out-and-out users, to be sure, but they simply don't want the slightest change at all.

I found this particularly hard to accept in my friends that were confessed Christians. I know we are not to judge, lest we ourselves be judged. I do know that we are permitted to "inspect fruit," as another pastor's wife so succinctly put it. All I can observe is how these individuals treat me, my family and others. I cannot look into their heart and mind to see whether or not their soul's anchor is in Christ, and I know with certainty that I am not better than them or anyone else. All I can do or say is that that their treatment and actions toward me and my family was not kind or biblical. That threw me for a loop, when we subscribe to the same faith, and all the ethics and values that entails.

This got me thinking about something else recently, the basics of Christianity. Call it Jesus 101. The two great commandments Christ gave, the second one being the golden rule. If people don't love themselves, how can they love others? I'm not talking about narcissistic dysfunction and over-inflated self love. I'm talking about basically liking themselves and being comfortable with themself. Have you ever been so unhappy with yourself that you obsessed and criticized many things about yourself or others? Maybe you haven't been that way but maybe you know someone else like that. The phrase low self esteem, is tossed around so much, but I am pausing and thinking about what those words really mean. Low self esteem rears its ugly head in a variety of ways. Some internalize and some externalize. If you don't treat yourself well how can you treat others well? I am realizing that some people are just not happy with themselves, on the most basic level. Their unhappiness seeps on to those around them, sometimes it's mild and sometimes it's brash, sometimes it's subtle and sometimes overty. Just my own thoughts as I work through life.

Observation on Apologies

I have noticed that some people will do various things things to assuage their conscience toward people they hurt in some way. They will do all kinds of things, from small to elaborate, from simple to costly, but they will not act right and not simply say they were sorry. Just a simple saying that costs nothing but pride. Strange, isn't it?

Messageboards and other random thoughts

At one time participating in a few message-boards was a lifeline for me. I really enjoyed the discourse about various subjects from a wide variety of people. I used to visit a parenting board, a self-help board, and tinkered around in some hobby boards. They can be quite interesting.

I have 3 all-time favorites, and here are two of them:
Hippie Christian Family and ChristianBoard
~
I like saying and writing "all-time favorite."
~
I like Alton Brown.
~
I was thinking about California because I lived there a long time ago, and because the little town where I lived had a huge Pumpkin Festival each year. It was known for growing pumpkins, flowers and Brussels sprouts.

Speaking of things that grow in California...I have been seeing a few shows about legalizing marijuana in California. I just know that if pot were legal and I finagled a prescription, me and my family would be in a heap of trouble. I am just amazed that people can get a prescription and there are little pharmacies that sell the stuff.

Anyway, I miss Half Moon Bay sometimes. It was/is a beautiful place.
Photo by rkramer62


Weird Thought, #1.
Do you remember the old TV show The Addams Family? When Morticia the wife would say a word or two in French, husband Gomez would shower her hand and arm with kisses. My following thought, odd and inappropriate perhaps, is along those lines. It crossed my mind nonetheless. I'll fully disclose in a minute, bear with me as I set it up. I thought this thought because I had watched the move Sling Blade (good movie) for the first time in years and years. Then, I heard 80's hair band Poison's "Talk Dirty to Me" (never liked that song or band). Here is how it went in my (twisted) mind:
Poison song + Sling Blade + Morticia & Gomez = What if one was turned on by their beloved speaking sweet nothings to them in an unusual character's accent? Like Yosemite Sam's voice or Witch Hazel? Think about it the next time your sweetheart is whispering tender words of love, imagine those words in a rather unusual voice, and you will probably giggle and wish you could stop thinking about that.

On A Kick...

photo by Chris Campbell

My latest cravings have been for the music of Cindy Morgan and piña colada flavored yogurt.

Bento

I read about the art of Bento here for the first time. I thought it was a lovely and charming idea that I would like to try for myself soon. I tried to implement the principals of artfully and picturesquely arranging food for my children's afternoon snack a few times, though I have simply done this with what I have had on hand, rather than buying official Bento tools. They seemed to enjoy it.

Bento seems to originally have been a term for any boxed lunch. Now it seems to mean small portions of artfully arranged food in a boxed lunch sort of presentation.


photo by gamene

That Old Thing

The Thing*, the sad thing, the semi-tragic thing, which cast a dark cloud over my family appeared on the horizon again recently. It's a dark cloud. So many years have passed now that I often see it as a simple shady puff of remembrance, that blows in now and then, and then blows off again. However, and variously through other loved-ones, it threatened to cast a grim shadow, and anchor itself down. I will not tolerate that, and I will fan it away.

I am thinking of this because I reconnected with an old family friend who also went through that same situation. This thing* affected both our families. The course of our lives and my family's trajectory was profoundly changed and altered in so many ways. I remind myself that not all of the changes are bad. Things were lost and things were gained. We all tried to make the best of it.

We were confused, hurt, utterly naive and ill-prepared for what happened to us. Our families' connection grew apart because of the circumstances, and decisions we made while in the midst of it. I suppose there have been suspicions over the years, I know my emotions and thoughts have followed various rabbit trails regarding the situation. I suppose it is common to consider that irrational notion that if our (relative's) paths never crossed none of this would had ever happened. That whole, 'I rue the day we met' kind of notion. Then there is the basic, human, self-preserving feeling that if those persons, places or things that remind us of the pain can be avoided so we'll be reminded less, avoid we shall. It's nothing personal it's just what our hearts need to do to survive at the time.

Anyway, all of that must fall away. Time has been served and the past should stay there in its rightful place. I don't want to nurse even the slightest negativity or lack of compassion toward those who were very similarly affected by The Thing*. Time does bring a resolve and an acceptance. I know the pain of the circumstances and what was lost: the dignity, the relationships, and many other things. So much hurt fell upon both our families. I have said it before and I will say it again, as a mantra to myself and a testimony to the only sure truth I have ever found, life hurts but God heals.

-------

So, I wrote that today. As I was looking for a Flickr Commons photo to illustrate (clouds) the entry, I thought to listen to Joni Mitchell's Both Sides Now, as I browsed, because of the clouds. I did not realize the outcome, and I find myself crying, ugly and bitterly because I am missing my father very much. I like Judy Collin's version of the song better.
Then, I thought of the Faulkner quote, "The past is never dead. It's not even past."
This thing is mostly past, I think.


Photo by eye of einstein.

Sleeper Gems - Movie: The Tenant of Wildfell Hall

Sleeper - belated success: somebody who or something that is not an immediate success but, often surprisingly, later becomes one
In this case, it shall simply be an older movie or lesser known movie that I like.
Gem - somebody or something excellent: somebody or something considered to be valuable, useful, or beautiful (informal)

With this theme in mind, I have thought to highlight every so often an old movie, or a newer one I happen across, especially ones that are not so well known, that I feel is worth recommending.



Today while doing chores, I watched a BBC miniseries from the late 90s: The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, based on a Anne Bronte story. I recall watching it on PBS on various afternoons back when it was more current. I enjoyed it back then and I enjoyed it now. In many ways it has a similar theme as Diary of a Mad Black Woman. Anyone who is a fan of Jane Austen and the Bronte Sisters and of costume dramas should be pleased with it. I like it's themes of protecting oneself and one's child when faced with an abusive spouse and of maintaining fidelity and integrity in the midst of such a difficult and abusive marriage. I particularly like the message that marriage is a serious matter and should not be rushed into. The heroine does just that, ignoring her aunt's advice and endures years of escalating misery because of it.
**Spoiler alert**

Don't read further if you intend to rent it.

I like that at the conclusion of the story, the heroine, now a widow and free to remarry, does not intend to rush into it again, but advises a sensible time of engagement with her suitor. Once bitten, twice shy and the wiser for it.

Un-Friending, It Hurts Sometimes

photo by Giueseppe Bognanni

This week, a FaceSpace* friend, Lola* posted about being un-friend-ed by someone, for no apparent reason, and how that hurt her. Lola wrote that she "frowns when she realized she was un-friend-ed for no reason." Puzzling as it is, there has to be a reason.

(Of course, this illicited a dozen or so responses from people that showed her support and affection.)

Perhaps the reason is not personal at all, but rather that the "un-friend-er" is quitting the site altogether or trimming down their list for various reasons. For example, I've heard of some who only want to be "friends" with people who are actually and currently friends, rather than a classmate or former co-worker that they rarely see. Others seem to enjoy being on the periphery of the lives of a slew of distant friends and acquaintances. This also speaks volumes again about the ways our communication is changing due to these newer ways of relating, and by that I mean the whole social networking phenomenon.

Lola's post reminded me that I have a grown, married niece that "un-friend-ed" me. I think she did it because I made a teasing comment about something she posted about Britney Spears, she's a fan. I didn't say anything rude or mean, but after I posted that comment I was un-friend-ed. Naturally I drew a conclusion. Who knows? It could have been a whim or an accidental click. If you know me or have read this blog for any amount of time, you know that Ms. Spears is the antithesis of who/what I like and appreciate about music, culture and art. (Yet I really like a Christmas song of hers I have on a Christmas CD of various artists.) So I rather good-naturedly teased my niece. At least I think it was mild rather than mean. I think I made some kind of self-deprecating joke about being and old-fogey because I don't get whole Britney Spears fan-dom thing.

I sort of tucked this away until now, and haven't really thought about it. When Lola posted about her situation, I began to ruminate about it again. It got me to consider some things. I suppose I don't have much in common with a Britney Spears fan, and therein lies the rub, haha, now that's just a joke. It would have been a better joke if we were talking about Christina Aguilera, though. Seriously, family and friends should be able to have a little teasing and joking between them. As well as the ability to be honest with each other about things that bother us, including being teased, without it causing an undue amount of strain or separation. Instead of actually communicating, neither my niece nor I pursued it further. This was a girl I loved and doted on when she was a child. I tried to support and love as she grew into adulthood and was there through all the milestones: graduation, engagement, wedding shower, wedding. So while it puzzled me, for short time after it happened, I never looked into it. I really could have sent her an email and inquired. She could have deleted my comment and let her old auntie know that she was annoyed by my comment, if that was the case. None of that happened. Now we're just not in touch.

Texting and social networking sites have changed the way we communicated, some for better and some for worse. But really, what am I going to do about it? In hindsight, perhaps I ought to have said something directly and tried to settle it immediately.

So, have these new ways of communicating affected you?
For better worse or both? How and why?
In which situations is un-friend-ing acceptable?
Why do you think people are more apt to click an "un-friend" button rather than really speak their mind to the person about whatever is bothering them enough to consider it?

*changed names, of course

sailboats

I like this picture.

from here

Today 10/14/10

Today.
Today I feel like I have a wide open heart. I am not afraid of the past mingling with the here and now. I feel like forgiving. I feel like acknowledging that people's own problems and hang-ups are their own, and I am just an open had for them to take and hold or ignore. And that is enough.
Today.
Today I am reading "The Dude Abides: The Gospel According to the Coen Brothers" and "Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls." I am listening to Tom Waits, Tom Petty, Stevie Nicks, Blind Melon, Kenny Loggins, Maroon 5. It is rainy and raining. I have washed and folded clothes, and cleaned the ice and water dispenser. I have cleaned the interior windows with vinegar, and it mingles with the strong nag champa incense and makes my eyes water just a little.
Soon Big Daddy will be home for a lunch break, and we will eat together.
This is domestic bliss.
Today.

Ninja Parade

Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again

Drowning in Sorrow vs. An Occasional Dip in The Pool of Sadness

I think it's OK to wallow in sorrow for a time when you need to. If you are grieving over a loss or very sad about something, take a dip in the pool of sorrow. Allow yourself that, but do not by any means allow yourself to drown in sorrow. I think we get into trouble when we allow ourselves too much time at either end of that emotion. Not enough reflection over grief will cause us harm and so will too much grieving. Guard your heart and mind against both extremes. This has worked for me.


photo by besighyawn

"Classic" Punk Rock

I took a look at Jorge Garcia's blog, and found a gem of an old punk rock song I hadn't thought about in YEARS. Then just like the little mouse who's given a cookie in one of the kid's beloved storybooks, I was off on a classic punk rock song hunt, one song reminding me to look for another! So here's something I just threw together while doing housework. I wanted to keep it from the classic era ( late 70's early 80's) and the stuff that was genre-blending and and some even getting airplay in the mainstream. I wanted to keep it a little diverse, a little ska, a little English, a little NY, a little LA, a little mod, well, you get the picture.

Dig these grooves, baby!

Little Things, part 2

These small things were a large blessing to me lately.
1. A nifty, little, 'Made in the USA' can opener bought for a buck ($1.00) at Winn Dixie when I really needed one.



2. Key Lime seedlings/sprouts. Our friends gave us some Key Limes from their tree last year, and I saved some seeds. I was delighted when the first tiny thread-like sprout pushed through the soil. My dream is to nurture them for a year or two, and eventually have my very own tree in the yard, grown by me from the start.



3. Morning Glory vines have been covering shrubs and weeds on an empty lot, reminding me of Kudzu in their zealous advancement!

Lying, why?

I am working through feelings and issues that impact me and my family. Addiction, co-dependency and dysfunction used to put an undue burden on my life and my heart and contributed a block in my creativity. Over time, and most importantly through faith in a real and living God, healthier ways of living and coping are being sought and implemented in my life. Journaling is one tool on the road to healing. It helps me process and understand things in a more productive way.
Truthful lips endure forever,
but a lying tongue is but for a moment.
-Proverbs 12:19

The enemy has really been coming after me lately with lying. It's a hassle, to be sure, but I keep reminding myself that this is God's battle not mine. It's God's job to fight for me and vindicate me, if necessary. I am His child and I belong to Him. It's my job to remain faithful to Him and do what He says. Still it hurts. It hurts when people who I have only tried to care for and be good to, for some reason have targeted me with untruthful reports. I can only guess as to why this happens, but I can be an ambassador for peace and step up to rectify the situation. Which is what my husband (in the role of my pastor) advised me to do in one situation. So, I went forth, with this in mind, as an ambassador and asked, more or less, "What is wrong here and what can I do to rectify it?" It seemed to completely diffuse the situation and make things right, and that is my hopeful prayer, though I have learned that only time will tell.

photo by bof1391
In another particular situation, I confronted an already estranged loved one with their lies, when I discovered them. They responded by further alienating themselves. There was already a wall between us, and they raised it another few feet and added some barbed wire and a lock. They are the one who lied, and I am being treated like the perpetrator, not only by this loved one but by others who seem to defend them by treating me with disdain. Why does my loved one seem to get a pass from others when they lie and engage in other hurtful behaviour? Why do I get a tongue-lashing and a cold shoulder for calling them on their behaviour? My heart is a little sick with hurt over this unfair treatment, I feel a little like the Biblical David did here. How long with this nonsense go on? As long as there is an evil enemy loose in this world. I am reminded of the old quote, ‘The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.’ I refuse to do nothing anymore. I refuse to walk on eggshells, sugar-coat, pretend nothing is wrong. I will also do what I can to reconcile, as I tried above. I will call a spade a spade and I suppose I will have to live with the fall out from that.

Weird, Wacky and True (probably), vol. 2

I found out last week that there is a roofing company here in The Keys in which the the roofers, 2 middle aged guys with average physiques, wear thongs. I'm not talking about flip-flops on their feet. Yes folks they're up on your roof, nailing down shingles in their thongs. Now there's something you probably don't see every day, but really no surprise for Keys Dwellers.

When It Comes To Children In Church We Have An Organic Approach

I had a spiritual awakening and became a Christian while I was pregnant with my first child. I toted my baby along with me to every church service, revival, bible study I could. I even brought him with me on home and hospital visits, probably a little unadvisedly, but he’s none the worse for it. When he was fussy, I did all kinds of things to distract him. I gently and firmly eased him into realizing that he could play quietly in church, but if he was going to be disruptive enough to make me have to take him out, it would not be fun. I used positive and negative reinforcement. So when I had other children or had occasion to help our with friends' children in church, I applied the same principals, suiting things to the different personalities of each child. Anyway this whole notion of children and church got me thinking of a word that is very popular today, “organic.”

Organic - 2. developing naturally: occurring or developing gradually and naturally, without being forced or contrived 3. intrinsic: forming a basic and inherent part of something and largely responsible for its identity or makeup

I am not an extreme advocate of home-schooling, attachment parenting and co-sleeping, however, I see the value and the lessons we can learn from those concepts, and I respect them. The older children get, the more they naturally grow apart from their family. That is how we humans develop and become independent. Conversely, the younger children are, the more they benefit from being close to their parents through the course of daily life. In the younger years they learn and observe, as by osmosis, at their parents' side, as they are gradually launched toward independence.

We believe there should be a certain amount of age-specific spiritual training for children separate from the greater church services. It seems that the popular mode of operating for most churches is to divide everyone into their age-specific and life-centric little category and then put them in that small group to learn. There is some value in that, and there are times when those kinds of classes are necessary in a church. Many people will not even attend a church that does not have a nursery, or a singles group, or other kind of group that is very specific to them. I think that is a shame. If our pattern is to be like Jesus, and His Disciples, and the First Century Church they began, then we must realize they built a church community where everyone came together. Jew and Gentile, men and women, young and old, rich and poor. Recall that even Jesus’ disciples wanted to keep the children separate, but He corrected them and told them to bring the children to Him right along with everyone else. That was a pretty radical idea at the time.

Some people hold the opinion that it's boring and inappropriate for children to be in church. Many parents are frazzled by a stressful week. When they arrive at church and their children act typically or even misbehave (as all children do at times), they’d prefer to have their child in another place. They’re sensitive to how others will feel about being disrupted, and perhaps they’d like to soak up the service without distraction. I can understand and relate to that. When parents need a break, as they surely do sometimes, it is the job of their friends within the church to run interference for them and help with the children. We need to pinch hit for one another. We need to understand that children will be a little immature and even noisy in service at times. They can be distracted and taken outside or to another room if necessary. Children will learn how to act in church and other places like restaurants, the more often they are taken to those places and taught, encouraged and expected to act accordingly.

Parents (or whatever other adult fulfills that role in their life) are their children’s first and most important teachers, and it seems the most natural thing to us when children are with their parents as often as possible. Togetherness as a family or community is a rarity today, everyone is busy and working and playing in different places. Children are with caregivers and coaches, and we almost expect the few hours of church we have together each week to be another time the baby is in the nursery, the toddler is in the 2-3 year old Sunday School Class and the teen is in youth group. Again, I am not saying that those various classes aren't valuable and don't have a place. I'm just saying that in our church, separate time is limited. Most of the time we encourage you to keep your child with you in the pew. You’ll be close to your child guiding by example and gentle encouragement, modeling what it is to be a Christian worshiping and learning in community with other Christians. That is why I say that when it comes to children, our ministry takes an organic approach.


Above picture from U.S. National Archive Photostream.

Born a Penny, Pennies from Heaven

I was driving one of my children home from a lesson when I stopped to get gas. As I returned to my vehicle after paying, I looked down and found a shiny, copper penny. It was tails down. I think I like "tails" because it has always been more popular in my experience for people to call "heads" and I always wanted to be different. I've preferred "tails" since I was a little and coin tosses, along with Rock, Scissors, Paper and "Ennie-meanie-miney-moe" with your fists, were the common mode of making choices and picking people in childhood games and such.

I picked up the penny and placed it in my pocket. I thought of my sweet and superstitious Mother. She never misses picking up a coin and always told us, "See a penny, pick it up, and all day long you'll have good luck." I'm beyond believing in luck, yet my Mom's words stick with me and I pick up pennies with her fondly in mind. I also will admit to having a guilty pleasure in reading Dear Abby/Ann Landers kind of columns. One of those columns had published "Pennies from Heaven" stories that seem to comfort people, even if it is kind of hokey and superstitious. Anyway, this jumble of things go running through my mind when I see a penny on the ground.

After I picked up the shiny, little coin I got in my van and drove on my merry way. I turned on the radio and heard this song, "Born a Penny" by Shemekia Copeland, for the very first time ever. Funny coincidence, don't you think?

favorite old-school children's shows

Remember when Sesame Street was cool and edgy when we GenX-ers were young? It wasn't all politically correct and celebrity navel gazing back then, though it was diverse and included well-known figures from our culture.



Some of the other shows I remember liking:
New Zoo Revue
Hodgepodge Lodge
Electric Company
Schoolhouse Rock
Barbapapa
Sigmund and the Sea Monsters
The Banana Splits
Land of the Lost

But my all time favorite is Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood.

What are some of your favorites?

What if...

What if angels have wings like moths and butterflies, rather than the birds wings they are usually depicted with in art?






picture byfathero9

Winter Tree

On a winter's day somewhere north of here the sun shines down
but cannot melt
the icy cold snow of her heart
she is a beautiful tree
but brittle from the freeze
If the dead things can break off
and fall away during a winter storm
In the warming spring
new life will come
and there will be buds and leaves
flowers in summer, then
fruit will come
if...only things
die and break away
in the right season.

©M.D.V.

Sunday Dinner, vol. 3

Today I served my simple chicken curry in the crock pot, brown rice and fresh Cuban bread.

Turn crock pot on high and use enough olive oil to coat the bottom of it. While the pot is heating. Get chicken ready. I used 6 smallish boneless, skinless breasts. You could use thighs or breasts with or without the bone. I mix curry powder to taste with enough flour, salt, pepper and sometimes a dash of garlic powder to coat the chicken. I recommend at least 2 tablespoons of curry. Coat the chicken in the flour curry mixture, and then add to the hot oil. If there is not too much of the flour mixture left, throw it over the chicken. Let cook for awhile, 20 minutes to an hour, whatever's convenient for you, I think that browning the curry before you add the tomatoes & water makes it even more flavorful. You can even use tongs to turn the chicken after they've been browned on one side. Then add a can or 2 of diced or stewed tomatoes and pour over chicken. Add about half a tomato can of water. I also peeled 2 large carrots and grated them in the cheese grater and stirred them into the sauce a little. Cook in crock pot for a couple of hours. Add some raisins about 10-15 minutes before serving. I used three of the larger individual snack size boxes. Serve over rice, with plenty of the sauce. It very hearty and homey.

In the past I have used diced green peppers.

Song Memory: How Great Thou Art

This is an old hymn, and it has great significance for me. I don't recall being familiar with this old hymn, well known as it may be, during my Catholic upbringing. I came to know it later on, during my spiritual awakening in adulthood. I have mentioned before how during my formative period as a 'new convert' I had gladly and willingly eschewed my former worldly musical tastes and replaced them with listening to only Christian music and hymns. I found it necessary to do so for many years, as the layers of my old life and habits were being peeled away and being replaced with a renewed heart and mind. I believe God asks this for many of His followers, it's just a time when we have to draw close and focus on Him and leave our past behind us. Music was a big part of my life, and so I needed a break from the secular and worldly aspects of it for awhile.

My earliest recollection of this song is when I heard the character Julia, played by Dixie Carter, sing it (here) on the TV show Designing Women. I was watching a rerun of the show during one of those middle-of-the-night baby feeding sessions. (Sometimes I liked it silent and peaceful and sometimes I needed a little distraction.)

Later on, and during my short jaunt in another state, this song was on a cassette tape by some local or regional Southern Gospel group that played at my church. (I have another artist's version here.) At that time we lived in a small, rented farmhouse in a rural area of a wild, wonderful state. I had only one little child then, and we went on daily walks and hikes through country roads, fields and the mountainous wooded areas. There were rocky cliffs, and even a nice sized waterfall within hiking distance. In my mind I can still see the lushness of spring, appearing wet and minty green after a cold, barren winter. In the late spring and early summer the orange daylilies were bursting onto the side of the road. Later on came the vivid autumn leaves, with their palette of my favorite colors, browns, golden yellow, burnt orange and deep scarlet red. Place that against a blue sky and the beauty is amazing. I often sang quite audibly on our hikes, I am just that kind of person, and I heard it clears the bears. It was living there, hiking there and driving on those country roads that the words of this song came gloriously alive for me. That song was exactly the picture of my life then. I was a bit solitary, with just a small child as my companion, wandering through the woods, hearing the brooks, pondering the greatness of God and the beauty of the creation He made, and really falling in love with Him.





photos byJeffery(lily)
b3nscott(barn)
respres(stream)

Good Words and an Ode to a Punk

Have you ever had a few words or a conversation with someone that stuck with you, like forever? Those words that pass between us, particularly when we're young, are the words that shape us in various ways. They can be positive or negative words.

Since I began embarking on this artist's journey to recover my creativity a couple of years ago, I have thought much about that. In part because of an exercise in The Artist's Way. Today I am writing about positive conversations that blessed me and stayed with me. I am going to dwell on those good words in honor of a long lost acquaintance whom I only recently discovered had passed away.

V.Z. and I ran around with the same extended group of crazy punk friends sometime during our teens. I can't remember exactly how and where we met. I knew his little sister and hung out with her a bit. We had some other mutual friends. I remember him as a crazy (in a good way) fun-loving guy. Zany antics are what I recall about V.Z.

One night many of us were hanging out and having fun out by a bonfire in a semi-secluded, semi-wooded area. People were coming and going, laughing and running around. If my hazy middle-aged memory serves, it might have been a wooded area that was being cleared for yet another subdivision in Florida. Anyway, that's not important.

I can't remember exactly what we were talking about, just that there was a lot of crazy frolicking and carousing going on, and we were probably having a joking or lighthearted conversation. What's important is that for a few brief minutes V.Z. and I were alone by the fire, and he looked at me and said, "You're not a dumb-dumb girl, are you? You're smart." How do you answer something like that. I was a little stunned.

I had been labeled a 'dumb blonde' in my early teens, and though my hair was darkening over the years, the term stuck. I really struggled with a certain subject in school, and there were circumstances in my home life and past that also contributed to my less than stellar self-esteem. At that time I waffled between teenage rebellion and just doing and acting in ways that I thought people expected me to act because I thought it was easier than being myself. I was so shy and insecure, and I tried to hide that various ways but I was growing, really starting to think for myself and be true to myself. Still, that was somewhat hazy, because I was quite young. Somehow that very small conversation with V.Z. encouraged me. It was like a little light went on amid the b.s. and subterfuge of teen angst and insecurity. Those new muscles I was flexing didn't go noticed by V.Z., he noticed a sliver of the real me and reacted positively and I knew he wasn't trying to scam* me either.

Looking back now, I think that conversation was like a compass, and in a small way, helped me move into a better direction. V.Z. was a good kid when I knew him, may God rest his soul. Thanks for the kind words V, I hope you are resting in peace and rejoicing with God in heaven.

"May the force be with him always."

Light and Rain

This morning I walked into the kitchen and opened my east facing blinds. The sunlight streamed in and filled the room. It glistened on the raindrops that clung to the window and dripped from the roof overhang outside. Again, I was struck by the slight change in the quality of light. Rather than a warm light, it was cooler, like the difference between lemon yellow and golden or ochre yellow. Rather than being primarily warming and soothing, I found it refreshing and invigorating. And I hadn't even had my coffee yet.

Museum of Jewish Heritage

If you're ever in NYC you have to see this museum. We visited the museum during our trip to the city this past summer. Like many museums, there are times and days where admission to the museum is free or discounted. Considering our budget, we take full advantage of that blessing. We used the audio tour, which I recommend. The museum is laid out in chronological order, ascending from the first floor up. I made it through the first floor with no problem. It was very interesting and informative about the establishment and beginning history of several Jewish families in Europe and America. Two-thirds of the way through the second floor, I was overwhelmed with the brutality and reality of The Holocaust. I just cried and cried like a baby, right there in front of all the fellow patrons. It's heavy.

In the museum's gift shop I was delighted to find a tile plaque I've been wanting for a long time. It says "Shalom, ya'll."

Autumn and the Changing Quality of Light - Journal Entry

Yesterday I noticed that the quality of light from the sun was different. This subtle shift in the look of sunshine signaled for me that the season had changed. I think there is less heavy saturation of light, if that makes sense. Summer is dazzlingly bright here, Fall is slightly different. There is a tinge less humidity in the air, though the heat is still thick and oppressive. I don't know why Autumn makes me feel a little invigorated. It always has. Maybe because it's the season that contains my birthday, and I fell in love with big Daddy during Autumn. Do those facts contribute to the fact that when Fall is here I feel a burst of energy and as if I have a clean slate upon which to draw something fresh? I came alive in Autumn through birth and later in finding my TrueLoveSoulMate. I think every season is nice when it first arrives.

So I am listening to my Autumn Music Playlist.

I am a little swollen and itchy because I ate something, or something bit me, or I'm having a reaction to soap, the usual culprits. I have been taking Benedryl to keep my discomfort at bay, but it's making me feel drowsy, lousy and high and I don't like it.

Weird, Wacky and True (probably), vol. 1

When I was about 16 or 17, my beautiful, midnight blue Chevy Camero was broken into one night while it slept quietly in my parents' driveway. Though it was rummaged through and in a bit of disarray, the only thing stolen was my copy of Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers' Pack Up The Plantation (live). That would happen only in Apopka, don't ya think?



Speaking of Tom Petty...

This old clip from Wings is part of our family tradition concerning Mr. Petty, he has always been a favorite of mine. We call him the most handsome man in rock and roll, and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise.

Salad Days

Album Cover of the band Minor Threat's Salad Days EP

One day, oh about five years back I signed on the computer and I had a dictionary/word of the day application. The word of the day on that day was the phrase 'salad days.' The term comes from Shakespeare, who along with the Bible is responsible for so many idioms, phrases and sayings we still use. "My salad days, when I was green in judgment," wrote the Bard (in Antony and Cleopatra). That brought back a mini-flood of memories of what salad days means to me.

*warning* There is some profanity at the end of the song

Wishing for the days when I first wore this suit. Baby has grown older, it's
no longer cute. Too many voices. They've made me mute. Baby has grown older.
It's no longer cute.
But I stay on, I stay on. Where do I get off? On to greener pastures. The
core has gotten soft.
Look at us today. We've gotten soft and fat. Waiting for the moment, it's
just not coming back. So serious about the stuff we lack. Dwell upon our
memories but there are no facts.

Recently I discovered a reunion page on a social networking site for former kids who were "hardcore/punk" and hung out at the hang-outs near where we grew up in the metropolitan area of a mid-sized Southern City. It was a bit of a unique situation. Since many of us were very few in number in our own respective high schools back then, we gravitated toward each other through our common love of the music and the other aspects of the punk/hardcore movement. There were a few places that brought us together and so we forged friendships with people beyond our own high school. In many cases, our own high school was not such a fun place for kids who were so different and provocative in their style, tastes and appearance. We sure had a lot of fun together, though. That's even where I met and fell in love with Big Daddy. I took a little honeymoon perusing the reunion board and its members, many people I knew only marginally or very little, and a few I remember knowing fairly well. Those were very formative years for me and my friends. But like all good things when it comes to youth culture and social movements, there was a dark side. I took off my rose coloured glasses shortly.

When I first met Big Daddy he was a skinhead. Wait! Before you throw rotten tomatoes at me, may I inform you that there was a time when being a skinhead was not interchangeable with being a racist or fascist, see here? It's true. Initially skinheads were just one other facet of the punk movement. Somehow the movement morphed and got hijacked into a white supremacist group, and that's all most people associate it with nowadays. There was a time when it was not so.

It was just a bunch of tough working class and middle class kids looking to express themselves through music and things that were important to them. From where I stood and where Big Daddy was back then, it looked like this: The burgeoning little skinhead scene in our area was primarily concerned with music hand having fun (Hey! we were kids after all); their own poverty, employment and future; being disdainful of arty pretension (they called it being an Art-Fag); and not "screwing" people over to get by - being true and loyal to your friends; having some kind of integrity when dealing with others.

The scales of that all tilted when a small group of their friends returned from another bigger scene in another state and where they became affiliated with the racist kind of skinhead-ism. They became the majority and that was that. We always hated racism, and we could just never come on board with that. For us, simply hating people for the way they were born and the traits they were born with was just pure evil.

Big Daddy and I gradually stopped hanging out and running around with that whole scene, as most of us were growing up and moving on to the other things in life one naturally moves on to.

As I looked over the reunion page recently, I wondered, where people stood on those issues today now that they are all grown up. Did they carry that same old baggage? Or did they grow and change? I wondered, and the answers do not seem clear or readily apparent.

The song Salad Days, and really the entire Salad Days EP became somewhat of a theme song for that time of our lives. The record was the band Minor Threat's swan song, and it signaled the end of an era for them and for us. Like a million other teenagers growing up who came before us and a million others afterward, we were questioning our youthful idealism and wondering if it could make it in the real world of adulthood.

Hodgepodge, vol. 6

Photographer Elliot Erwitt Check out all the photos on the lower left side of the page, click on the thumbnails to see a bigger view of each ones. Such a variety of interesting images. Some of the dog ones are quite funny.


Six Things From History Everyone Pictures Incorrectly (Warning contains some mild profanity)


Cool LITTLE Camper


Hairy Humor?
The Trustworthiness of Beards.



A quote I like:

"Love many, trust few and always paddle your own canoe." -American Proverb

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