The "L" Word

Love is patient and kind.
Love is not jealous
or boastful or proud
or rude.
It does not demand its own way.
It is not irritable,
and it keeps no record of being wronged.
It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Love never gives up,
never loses faith,
is always hopeful,
and endures through every circumstance.
-Found somewhere in that Old Book, The Bible









above heART By Monica Palermo

Love without Regret

I can honestly say, that I have no regrets about who I married, about who I love. There is no old beau about whom I wonder, "What if..." I think that's a common theme of love songs and romance novels, but not for me. I wish those old boys well, but I am seriously happy with the man with whom I have spent over half my life with. And I don't believe the grass is greener anywhere else. Marriage is just hard sometimes, some years even, but the companionship and affection that grows through every challenge has been worth all the trouble and effort.
~ Happy Birthday to my partner and friend; my love and soul mate. ~

Journal Entry - Summer Rain

This morning it rained, that driving and drenching rain of summertime in Florida. It was just Big Daddy, me and the dog. I was going to stay home. Big Daddy had some errands to run. I knew by a few things he said, that he wanted me to go with him. I was thinking to myself there were three little ways he showed his love for me today, so I sat right on his lap and told him so. His way of asking me to go with him was the first. He is growing his hair out a little for me because I like it that way, that is the second. I cannot remember the third thing right now. Sometimes life is just slow and mundane. But it is wonderful.

Love Hurts - God Heals part 2

Have you ever poured out your heart and soul into a friendship with someone and they betrayed you? Or maybe they just weren't there for you when you really needed it? It makes you feel so hurt and sad. Maybe angry too. You question why you wasted so much time and energy on someone that proved to be so unworthy. Sometimes this makes you hesitant about befriending other people in the future. At least it's been that way for me. It seems like the past few years have seen a few of these situations in my family and it hurts like heck. I keep hoping there will be some sort of reconciliation and healing change. But it just hasn't happened (yet?). Perhaps it never will. So, I mourn the passing of friendships.

I have been thinking lately about these types of things. And I think I have concluded this: I don't think love is ever wasted, even if it's not appreciated or reciprocated. I think when we stand before the Lord at judgment, we'll have been relieved to say that we loved lavishly even if our hearts are broken to shreds. After all, that's what He did. And then we should just keep on loving and doing our best to be an open-hearted person.

The thing is, sometimes with some people, you have to love them from afar. We can be like the father in the story of the Prodigal Son. He was already looking down the road when his estranged son was coming home. We can determine from that, he had been looking for, hoping and anticipating his son's return. I believe we should have a heart that is open, welcoming and ready for reconciliation. The other person has to be on that same road as well. It has to be mutual. Just as the father was looking for the son, the son was ready to leave his "wild living" and return home. The son couldn't have it both ways at his home. He had to leave the destructive behaviour behind to enjoy the full benefits of a close relationship. Until that time, the father had his eyes on the horizon and a heart that seemed to be free of anger, accusations, and all the other things he probably felt over his child living wild and wasting his inheritance. He was ready when his child was ready, not with a lecture, but with open arms.

That's the lesson for me. Don't get hung up on bitter feelings over everything that has passed. Let it go and be healed and free from it. Be ready for restoration of the relationship, if and when it comes. In the mean time L-O-V-E from afar, as opposed to stewing or wallowing!




Image from Barry's Clip Art.

Some thoughts on Love and Fear

One of the Bible passages that rocked my world, so to speak, when I first came across it is this:
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.”
It’s found a couple of times in the Psalms and Proverbs. It is something that seemed simple and complex at the same time, yet made perfect sense for me when I was beginning my walk with God. Right off the bat this notion of “fear” did not disturb me. This verse made me realize there was a basic reality: Good and Evil, God and the devil, heaven and hell. I understood it as this: awesome reverence for The Being who had ultimate power over the earth, and men and women.

Along with the Lord’s power over all people and things, there is also His Love. And early on I sensed and knew that, so that while the notion of fear was sobering and humbling, it was not some kind of hopeless terror. I know many people nowadays don’t want to associate God and fear together. It’s hurtful and confusing for them to do that, and they can’t fathom a compatibility in it. Maybe they have had genuine grounds to “fear” fear. Perhaps somewhere in their background they had cause to fear an authority figure or parental figure and they can’t bring themselves to associate that notion with a loving God. I can understand that, but it can only go so far, and I’ll attempt to explain why. There is a good kind of fear, and it’s a fear that keeps us alive. Fear causes us to be cautious when faced with real danger, and to avoid harm and preserve our health.

I know it’s not fashionable or popular in our current cultural climate, even in the church, to have sermons and teachings refer to hell and punishment. You know, the fire and brimstone stuff. I suspect that many in today’s culture would hold in disdain the conversion of a soul who clung to God’s salvation for fear of eternal damnation in hell. As if somehow such a conversion is not as legitimate as one who came to the foot of Christ’s cross in gratitude and recognition of His sacrificial love. I say both are saved, saved, saved and that’s what counts! After all, our faith in the Lord is not to remain some static notion. It is to be a growing relationship. So that when we initially turn to God, whether through fear of hell or realization of His Unconditional Love, we grow in our grace and knowledge of Him and begin to understand all the facets of His character, which encompass both of those notions and many others.

John explains this concept in his first epistle, chapter 4, it‘s a pretty amazing passage. God has wanted this kind of reciprocal love from mankind all along: a love relationship, not one of mere fear or robotic obedience. In love there has got to be some respect. To put it into our human relationships, in those we love the most - our spouses, children and parents - we’d like some mutual respect and appreciation. We ought not to enjoy walking all over each other! If we have a tender heart, we fear intentionally hurting our loved one. We fear it might cause a rift in our relationship and we don’t want to hurt the one we love. It’s the same way with the Lord, we ought to have a tender heart that fears a separation from Him. Reverential fear causes us to respect and preserve.

Elsewhere in the New Testament we are told by Jesus not to fear someone on earth who can cause us bodily harm, but to fear only God who has authority to cast both body and soul into hell. Then He immediately goes on to say that the Lord knows whenever a little sparrow falls to the ground, and the number of hairs on each person’s head and that each person is more valuable to Him than a flock of sparrows. And He says it just like that, in that particular sequence and order, which I think is interesting in itself. So, where there is a warning of hell, there is a reinforcement of love and grace to reassure that there is safety and rest in the Lord. But we must cling to Him, and keep our end of the bargain by believing in Him and being faithful to Him. A little fear of hell is good, if it keeps you on the straight and narrow! As long as you realize you have a Heavenly Father that knows and loves you intimately, and has provided you with a means of escaping that horrible place that was never intended for you in the first place!

In ending this post, I leave you with a quote I heard this week that got me thinking. I’ll paraphrase to the best of my recollection:
“For the Christian this earth is the only hell they will ever experience; for the unbeliever this earth is the only heaven they will ever see.”

Two Movie Reviews, or I Once watched Mama Mia

I don’t go to movie theaters much, particularly not for a grown-up movie. (I was going to write adult movie, but that usually means something entirely different than what I’m actually saying.) If I do go to the theater to see a movie, it’s usually G fare that our whole family [hopefully] enjoys. If Big Daddy and I want to see a movie for grown-ups, we just wait until it’s released on DVD and rent it.

I have recently rented and watched two movies that are music driven. I liked them both, in varying degrees and for varying reasons. A few thoughts occurred to me while watching them. I thought I’d compare and contrast them, and some of the issues they brought to my mind. You’ll have to bear in mind that I cannot help but view everything through the filter of my Christian beliefs.


The movie “Once” was released commercially in 2007, and I have wanted to see it since then. When we lived in Central Florida, our local movie rental store did not carry it. I was pleased to see it on the shelves of our local store here. Once is a serious movie of the independent genre. It follows the paths of two musicians who meet by chance, and strike up a musical partnership and friendship. The music drives the story along, as a natural part of the characters’ lives, and in the movie we see a slice of that life. The songs, which are very good, are showcased in that respect. The actors are also the real musicians, and while not well-known, are extremely talented.

“Mama Mia” is a musical, was released last year, in 2008. I probably don’t have to tell you it was a blockbuster. It’s based on the successful Broadway musical, based on the songs of 70’s super-group ABBA. I have always had a big-old soft spot for ABBA (even when I was a punk-rock grrrl and couldn’t admit it to anyone). ABBA’s hit songs are strung together to go along with the plot. The cast are all famous and award winners. The setting is a gorgeous Greek island. I love the songs, the location and the costumes (the flamboyant stuff and even the regular clothing). On a side note, I do appreciate that the bathing suit the main character wears during a scene was a cute one-piece, modest by most standards. Anyhow, it’s not meant to be a deep movie, it’s meant to be fun and fluffy. In those respects, it works.

The plot follows a young woman who is getting married. Her single Mom never told her who her father was, but she finds her mother’s diary from the summer before she was born. Unbeknownst to her mom, she reads the diary and discovers there are three viable candidates for her dad. Also unbeknownst to her mom, she invites them all to the wedding, hoping to find out the truth about her dad. Hilarity and shenanigans ensue (please know I am typing that with sarcastic fingers) over the discomfort of all parties, who do not know about each other, have not seen each other in 20 years and are slowly figuring out the paternity issues.



Both movies showcase wonderful music. Both movies deal with the foibles of life, lust and love, and our human ineptness or competence in dealing with such things; albeit in a low key kind of way. One movie is rather serious and the other is light-hearted.

Once is primarily about two characters, and a short period in their lives. Soon after their initial meeting, the Guy does declare his desire to spend the night with the Girl, which she refuses. We learn why his advances are rebuffed later, and he does not make any pressing moves after that. She is married, though estranged from her husband. It is not clear why. We learn the Guy’s passionate music is inspired by a woman he loved and left because of her unfaithfulness. It is revealed that she desires his forgiveness and to reconcile. Guy and Girl continue on in a very satisfying musical partnership and friendship. They encourage each other in their personal and professional pursuits. They truly make such beautiful music together; you know that it could very easily spill over to a romantic connection. You can sense their attraction to one another but they never let it cross the line. The Guy and the Girl go on to their respective futures and partners without having anything to complicate and shame them. They acted nobly toward one another. The characters hold to a higher ideal.

Mama Mia is another matter altogether. The characters become enmeshed in the baser human desires, revel in them, all the while lamenting over the fallout (read: heartache) from them. If only they would just stop the tomfoolery and stop and think for a moment. If the young Donna had not so quickly consoled herself in the arms of another man before her love affair with Sam was resolved, perhaps the two of them would have had a shot at a happy marriage. If Donna would have been honest and told her three lovers about her pregnancy, her daughter would have had a dad. That has obviously left a big hole in her daughter’s life. All three men seem happy to step up to the plate. Donna is puzzled at why her daughter even wants to get married. At the end, the young bride and groom call it off, for no other reason than they’re too young. Yet, they are going to sail off in the moonlight together to see the world and follow their dreams. Just not as a married couple. The old lovers, Donna and Sam do get married, so as not to waste a good wedding, and acknowledge that they do still have loving feelings for each other.

What is the message here? The young lovers were happy to make a commitment, and don’t seem impeded by anything other than their early 20-something age. Yet they “come to their senses” and realize that youth, marriage and following one’s dreams cannot occur, more or less, simultaneously. The old lovers have carried a torch for each other all those years. They admit to their individual various struggles in the intervening years: a failed marriage, struggles with loneliness, finances and single-parenthood. They would have saved themselves a lot of grief if they had accepted that true love is a virtuous possibility, worth fighting for (or waiting for), and it was within their grasp all those years ago. What if they just married back then? Am I the only one who thought, why are they nudging their daughter in the same mistaken direction they went in at her age? Don’t commit fully to love, honey, but do enjoy your freedom and liberty while you’re young, wink-wink. This seems so typical of the mores and values that came into the mainstream with the baby-boomer generation.

However, Mama Mia is meant to entertain rather than provoke thoughts, it’s a pleasant ride through a repertoire of pop songs. Yet I can’t help but wonder about the underlying values it asks me to just go along with and take for granted as I go on that ride. Once is a slice of life drama, it’s realistic, and it’s not pretty, like the people and setting of Mama Mia. What is beautiful about Once, is that it quietly and effectively ennobles the viewer through it’s subtle portrayal of a platonic relationship between two lonely and gifted musicians; and how they place the greater good over a instant gratification. The gracious gesture at the end of the movie Once shows more LOVE than all the wedding and bedding that is sung about, flirted with or implied within the entire Mama Mia movie.

I missed My Love...

...And thought of this song.


This is a great song no matter who sings it: Joe Cocker, Slade, or the above. I personally am fond of Joe Cocker's version. My Darlin is home now.

Memorial

In Loving Memory of F.C.D.
January 2, 1932 - November 17, 2000

And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God.

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Rev. 21:3-4





The photo is of my Dad and I on my wedding day, it's one of my favorites. I picked the Bible verse because it comforts me, particularly in regards to this situation. I posted the Mills Brothers song because they were among my Dad's favorite musical artists. (Two other songs I considered posting, because they remind me of my Dad are Had A Dad by Jane's Addiction and I'll Be Seeing You, but I was looking for the version by Billie Holiday. The Mills Brothers seemed the best fit, I think my Dad would agree.) I can remember falling asleep to their records, as well as the Ink Spots, during the summers of my childhood. My dad would have the old cabinet stereo playing the records in the house. He ran a cord and a speaker out to the porch where he, my mom and their friends would be sipping martinis, chatting and laughing. Perhaps even playing cards, probably Pinochle. I remember feeling happy and secure. That was life back then.