Turning the Other Cheek

I read this post on a blog today. Please check it out, for my post here to make sense. I wanted to post a comment over there but I hesitated about what to write. I wanted to show the right amount of encouragement, understanding and compassion, because it struck a cord with me personally. First, let me say I was never punched in the face like that. I was verbally abused and insulted by a person in my neighborhood. My oldest was about 7 and had been riding his bike around the block. He was chased by a large dog. It scared him but he wasn’t hurt. I put my toddler daughter in the stroller and had my son show me where it happened. I walked frequently throughout our neighborhood and I never saw any dogs that worried me, but there were a few in fenced in yards. I wanted to let the owner know their dog was loose. As I approached the house my son showed me, this woman came from the front porch, she was talking on the phone, but stopped and yelled at me, “Get your fat [expletive] home, I told your kid the dog wouldn’t hurt him!” I remember being stunned, since it had been a really long time since I was cussed out by someone face to face like that. Probably not since I was a teen. When this happened to me I was a minister’s wife, and a stay-at-home-mom, so I had not been around such crass behaviour in a long time. Now, I worked as a bartender and a waitress many years before that, so I have witnessed similar behavior before, just so you know, but when this happened I was quite insulated in my own little world, and it sure jarred me out of it! I was shocked for an instant. The next second I even felt like crying, which quickly passed. Then I was seething, literally, with anger. I could feel the adrenaline coursing through me. I wanted, in the flesh, to chew her up and spit her out and tell how low I thought she was. Instead I said something like, “Ma’am I wasn’t sure if you knew your dog was loose, and it did scare my son and I thought you should know.” It took every ounce of self-control I could muster to keep myself in check as I turned around and we walked home. I felt so humiliated and hurt. And angry, of course, very angry. In front my of my children! This woman cussed and insulted me in front of their innocent ears. I don’t think they ever saw adults acting that way before that. Whoever made up the “sticks and stones” chant many of us know from childhood was wrong. Calling people names can and does hurt. I knew my son was watching my response and I knew he was also upset and angry. When we were home I explained to him, because we’re Christians, we must never lash out in anger against someone who has lashed out at us. This was a prime example of Jesus’ teaching on turning the other cheek. Like Christian-the-blogger wrote in his piece, I was also compelled to feel pity for this person. How sad her first instinct was not to care for a fellow human, a child, or to engage in kind of peaceful discussion, but to lash out hatefully. Instead of being responsible and considerate in her little corner of the world she acted maliciously. People who are that miserable and hateful are to be pitied. So, I was able to use this situation to teach and reinforce some good virtues, that surely would have been lost if he witnessed his mom in a screaming match or cat-fight. I knew my son was upset, but he seemed to understand my explanation and accept it. A few years later when I was teaching a youth class at church, which my son happened to be in, I was able to use this as an example to them of how important it is to react peacefully, as Jesus would, rather than repay an insult for an insult. I think he understood it all better then. My heart goes out to Christian-the-blogger, I can imagine that a punch would have amplified my feelings, and I commend him for keeping a level head and a Christ-like attitude. It’s very difficult, but essential for a anyone who calls themselves a Christian to not repay evil for evil. I think God allows these things to happen to us so that we can see exactly where we are in of faith-walk with Him, and also to know what it’s like to suffer, as Jesus did. This helps us to understand the depth of what He did when He suffered and died for us, and it helps us to be compassionate to others who have suffered, because we know what it’s like.

Hot Messes, Nonsense and Foolishness

I am a fan of the TV show Clean House, which runs on the Style network. The premise of the show is this: A family who is bogged down by clutter and messiness either nominates themselves or is nominated by a friend or family member to have their house cleaned up by the show’s crew. The Clean House crew comes in and cleans and reorganizes - getting rid of many old things and re-decorating a few rooms. What struck me so strongly when I began watching the show is how many people are tied to their things. I was amazed by how people knew they needed help with their mess, their homes were quite out of control. Yet they would often cling so tightly and be so reluctant to let go of things that were clearly of no use to them anymore. Some things were dirty, worn out, old. Some things represented a time in their life that was long past, and sometimes even painful. Many are things that are in good shape but no longer used by the people possessing them. Yet they stubbornly cling to them and refuse to let go. The spiritual implications are there. I could preach a little sermon on that, but that’s not what I’m going to talk about today. What I am going to talk about is how much I am like those people on the show, and have been carrying around clutter for the past 18 years. By the help and grace of God I am learning to get rid of it. Why do I have to have these things? I am beginning to get to the root of it. I have an old sewing machine that is in a huge cabinet, it is in great condition. My Father gave it to my Mother as a gift in the late 70’s or early 80’s. She barely used it, but we toted it across the country with us when we moved. When my Dad purchased it, it was the top of the line model with all the bells and whistles. Years later my parents found themselves in difficult times and they lost many of their possessions. But one year my Dad made a point of giving me the sewing machine because I was creative and liked to play around with it when I was a girl. In like manner he & my Mom gave my brother their expensive Kitchen Aid mixer because he was a chef. Soon after they gave these things I took a sewing class, but truthfully I barely used the thing. My Mother-In-Law, who visits me once a year uses it more than me. She has helped us make church banners, she made baby bedding sets for her grandbabies and curtains for her children’s homes with it when she visited. I would have liked to have used it. I always thought and planned to use it in the future, but guess what? I never did. A few weeks ago on the HCBB a member posted about wanting to buy a used sewing machine for a friend who was a very gifted and productive seamstress. I was shamed, because for the first time it dawned on me that I was holding on to something I don’t use or need and someone who could be fabulous with it, could be and should be using it! I am actually being selfish. I am actually just as bad as the people on Clean House who befuddle me! Same goes with baby and kids clothes that I tend to hold on to, but have been gradually getting better at giving away over the years. When my oldest was a baby we were so financially strapped and were blessed to receive many gifts of clothes and many wonderful hand-me-downs. If those generous people were as manically tied to their children’s old things as I was, our child wouldn’t have had all the necessary clothing. How can I hold on to outgrown clothes when there are other children who might need them so badly? I can’t anymore. It seems so crazy and senseless, but it was easier for me to see it in other people than in myself. I think I was so tied to these types of things because I tend to have a sentimental, melancholy personality. I also inherited some pack-rat tendencies from my parents. I also think that the sewing machine was a gift from my Dad and I felt like I would somehow dishonor his memory by giving away a gift from him. The sewing machine also somewhat symbolized the good and prosperous times in his and my mom’s life. But really, I think my Dad would be happier to see me travelin’ light, and as generous as he was, to see someone else put it to good use. So, thanks to the Good Lord for showing me that my nonsense and foolishness was just as bad as the people who stunned me on Clean House. And thanks to the Clean House cast for making the show so entertaining, funny, helpful and insightful.

If I Don't Play Piano, Sing In the Choir or Teach Sunday School What Do I Do?

Is it selfish that I am not completely immersing myself in ministry and related things here at the new church? What I am immersing myself in is getting back into creative and other interests of mine. However, I find myself feeling a little bit of guilt. I became a Christian sometime in 1993 and followed right along side my husband as he received a calling on his life; accepted it and held various ministry positions (as did I) and ultimately he became a pastor. During that time I felt like my main focus in life was family first, and then always something to do with ministry, and I loved it. I just feel that I am in a different mode right now. I have felt a growing conviction over the years that it was time to use whatever artistic talent I had as a ministry of sorts before I got any older. (Use it or lose it, baby!) So here I am. I have not done anything much as the Pastor’s Wife, and don’t plan to until I’m absolutely sure God has called me to it. I do feel sure God has called me to start doing art again, and so I will. I’m not sure where that will lead and how it will go but I’m glad to do it. I look at our other ministry friends and read the blogs of other Christians and see how on fire they are and how focused they are on being missional, outreaching, with missions to inner cities and/or other countries, being prayer warriors, evangelizers, etc., and I wonder about myself. Am I missing it? Did I get burnt out and grow so cool I can't or won't do my part to be God's hand of mercy extended? It seems so selfish to do something that isn’t direct spiritual warfare or for the greater good of others. Of course I can always do both creative things and ministry things and there will be times where that blends and overlaps. It’s just that now I feel a time to pause from the one to reclaim the other, if that makes sense. So, that is what I am reflecting on these days.
If I Don't Play Piano, Sing In the Choir or Teach Sunday School What Do I Do? Draw, paint, plan, cut, paste, photograph…

Portable Outdoor Clothes Dryer Project

This is not such a novel idea, people have been using these kinds clothes drying contraptions for years. My dilemma, if you can even call it that, is three-fold. First, I wanted to air dry my clothes outdoors to save money and resources. Secondly, I didn’t want to have to walk up and down 19 steps every time rain threatened, which is fairly often. Lastly, I also was a little shy about drying our unmentionables in our dear buddy Fred’s* front yard. See, his front yard is our back yard. I’m funny about that, bashful I suppose. I asked Big Daddy if my idea would work, and he thought so, so here is what we did. We went to the local hardware/home improvement store and bought: 1 five gallon bucket, one outdoor ‘umbrella-style’ clothes dryer, one bag of quick-set concrete and one PVC pipe (only slightly larger than the base of the clothes dryer). Now I will be able to dry my clothes right on my sunny back deck which is next to the washer and super convenient. I can keep the unmentionables discreetly on the house side, and in the interior of the dryer. I can remove the clothes dryer when not in use, and replace it with my beach umbrella, and have some shade. I can move the base around if I need to, or rather Big Daddy or Adam can, since it weighs about 70 pounds!

1. What you will need

2. Drill hole in the bottom of the PVC pipe and place a piece of metal or wood to anchor it to the bottom of the bucket.

3. Mix concrete and pour in bucket

4. Let cure for 24-48 hours

5. Assemble clothes dryer and place in bucket and use!

There are 2 sections of pole from the clothes dryer assembly that I don’t need to use, you can see them on the deck in front of the bucket. When the dryer is anchored in the bucket, you probably won’t need them unless you are tall!
Edited to add:
I used it for the first time today. It is a windy day and it blew over, so I will have to find a way to make it more secure. I am thinking of using bungee cord or a ratchet tie down and

keeping it in the corner, and anchoring it to the deck railing and around the dryer pole. Any suggestions?

Love Letter to Florida

I am humbled, awed and amazed by God’s goodness and favor toward me. I’ll tell you why, it’s simply this, because God moved me here to the Southern most tip of the great state of Florida and the continental USA, and I love it. I was driving Flora to her horseback riding lessons, viewing vast expanse of the Atlantic Ocean on the one side of me, and the Gulf of Mexico on the other and thanking God. The colors of the sea were aqua and emerald, depending on the depth, the sunlight, and weather or not there was sand or sea grass below. Here and there the vast expanse of ocean was broken up by a small mangrove island or a sail boat. Otherwise there was only ocean on either side, shimmering on and on towards a faraway horizon that was yet another shade of blue. How did it happen that He allowed us by His Providential Hand (and His ministry purpose for us) to come to such a paradise? I feel so blessed. Humbled. And something akin to survivor’s guilt.

Now you will have to pardon me while I brag about Florida. I think that all of Florida, despite the palmetto bugs, mosquitoes, fire ants, strip malls, cookie-cutter subdivisions, etc., is a bit of paradise on earth. I have loved and appreciated the beauty of the various places I’ve lived: Pennsylvania, Northern California, West Virginia. I’ve been awed by the places I visited while traveling across the country twice when I was younger. Florida, though, holds a special place near and dear to my heart. I hated her at first. I wanted to get back “to my city by the Bay” when I first moved here frome there. My old best friend T (who was not impressed with Florida) once told me the reason I liked it so much was because I had good things happen here, chiefly meeting and falling in love with Big Daddy. Of course her point has merit. I know where and when I fell in love with Florida, though. It was when I first began canoeing down the Wekiva river as a teen. I felt my heart softening towards her though a couple of years before that. Sometime during my misspent youth I was trying, along with a friend, to see some punk rock rated R flick *. Of course, my friend was able to purchase her ticket and get in to the rated R movie without a hitch. I was flatly turned down and had to buy a ticket for the movie Cross Creek which was also playing. Turns out Cross Creek was a great movie, a real jewel, and though I probably denied it then, I loved it. The Florida background of the movie is as important a “character” in that movie as the actual main characters were, in my opinion, much in the way that the musical score and soundtrack is essential to Cameron Crow’s movies. Sometime after that, I acquainted myself with Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings’ writings and was smitten with both her work and the Florida locales that are so predominant in her works.

Back to the first time I canoed Wekiva - I was impressed. I was enthralled. It’s a mostly shady trip - huge oaks dripping with Spanish Moss make a canopy over the river. Banana spiders spin their large webs overhead, doing their natural pest control thing. There are cranes, turtles, fish, and on rare occasions, a small alligator or water moccasin. One can expend all the energy that is necessary to maneuver one’s canoe upstream on a warm (or hot!) Florida day and then refresh oneself at the end of the run by dipping into the cool blue-greenness of the Wekiva Springs. Then it’s all easy gliding back downstream to Wekiva Marina. It’s a lovely and easy run by which to initiate yourself with canoeing. As I began to visit, canoe, hike and swim the local springs, state parks and beaches of Florida I came to love and appreciate my adopted home state more and more. And there is still so much of this state that I have not yet seen. I hope to explore my new locale and truly occupy and enjoy the life and time the Lord has given me here, and fulfill whatever His purposes are in this time and place!

*By the way, as best as I recall it was Surf Nazis Must Die, but internet movie database tells me that it came out in 1987, which does not fit my time line.

Hodgepodge 2

Cardboard Testimonies

You will need the tissues.



more cat pictures

Hodgepodge

I have posted a few interesting links for your reading pleasure. They are a hodgepodge of things interesting, serious and humorous. Enjoy.

Emma Spaulding Bryant letters

from here.

A fascinating collection of letters written by Mrs. Bryant to her husband during the summer of 1873. I know it sounds rather dry, but begin to read one or two of them and I think you will also be fascinated by the dynamics of their conversation. They are not very long.

Funny Image

Five Dangerous Things You Should Let Your Kids Do

I think he makes a really good point, and I feel like I have been a bit too sheltering and protective as a parent myself. So, it’s a good reminder.


I really enjoy the TV show Lost. This trailer will update you on what’s been happening lately.
Previously On Lost

The above were found here.


10 Things Information Technology Workers Want Users To Know From here.


10 Reasons I Wish I Could Be More Like SpongeBob Squarepants from here.


And finally this one is for Big Daddy. Happy Anniversary, baby.