Well, I'm home with pink eye today. I suppose working with the little ones makes me susceptible to these things, despite frequent hand washing. We also have a mound of shell dust and dirt near the school, that is due to some city construction project. Some of my coworkers and I suspect that is the root of many discomforts and infections. Anyway, I have some time to noodle around here.
I have been reading a fantastic book by a pastor named Francis Chan called
Crazy Love. I highly recommend it. Chapter 4 is slaying me. Here are some quotes from it:
"I encourage you to take a searching, honest look at your life. Not who you want to be one of these days, but who you are now and how you are living today."
This speaks to me because I am a procrastinator. By God's grace and help I have gotten better, but believe me, I am so far from being there yet. I struggle with a complacency of thinking and living like I'll get around to things tomorrow or later. I have a tendency to do that rather than seizing every opportunity to live my life to the fullest today. And that includes everything from being a Christian witness, to doing some recreational things that are good for me and that I enjoy.
I have a tendency, at times, to view myself through the lens of who I
want to be, rather than who I actually am, and the way I actually act and live. To be sure, there are other times I struggle with being too hard on myself and having unrealistic goals, expectations and boundaries for myself, but that's not what I'm getting at here. I really wouldn't want to stand before the Lord right now, and it's not because I am some flagrant sinner. It's because I can fall into my own kind of Pharisee-ism, and neglect the most important thing of all: having a grateful, passionate heart of love for my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. And all that such a L-O-V-E should motivate me to do. What a lazy lover I have become. Now that I think about it, being a Pharisee could arguably be the most dire sin of all, so full of pride and thinking one is alright when one is not. I also think it's rather pathetic and amusing that when I consider my own little spiritual inventory, I want to fall on God's Mercy and be judged on my potential and who I want to become, rather than what I actually am at this minute typing these words. And
of course, I view others as they actually are, and not by their God-given potential - but that's a whole 'nuther issue, as they say. 'Scuce me while I work on this big, old plank in my eye....
"Lukewarm people don't really want to be saved from their sin; they want only to be saved from the penalty of their sin. They don't genuinely hate sin and aren't truly sorry for it; they're merely sorry because God is going to punish them. Lukewarm people don't really believe that this new life Jesus offers is better than the old sinful one."
The emphasis is mine. My life, since knowing Jesus, has so vastly improved. I found what I was searching for my whole life, yet, as in most relationships, I find myself in a slump. You know, the doldrums. It should not be that way and I should not linger in that state! I recall the Apostle Paul's words, "How shall we escape [punishment] if we neglect so great a salvation..." Jesus loves us, so much ya'll! What a price He paid to win us, and He freely offers us everything in His Kingdom! How can I neglect that? Well, I don't know, but sometimes it sure seems like I do. And I don't want to.
"Lukewarm people think of life on earth much more often than eternity in heaven. Daily life is mostly focused on today's to-do list, this week's schedule, and next month's vacation. Rarely, if ever, do they intently consider the life to come. Regarding this C.S. Lewis writes, "If you read history you will find that the Christians who did the most for the present world were precisely the ones that thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this." "
Well that just convicted the snot out of me. I know that's neither eloquent nor elegant, but it's the truth about me.
Anyway, there are a few little musings from a gal with a couple of itchy eyes, who is keeping her fingers occupied elsewhere so as not to spread my germs.
