A Few Things

1. I am not loving the almond milk in my coffee. I think I prefer soy milk or cow's milk best. Though the almond milk is nice alone, or in cereal.

2. I just found Kelly Oxford and I like, but be warned of occasional adult content.

3. I got my 2 younger kiddos fan-i-fied, along with me on this. Does that make me a really bad Christian? Why am I feeling some residual guilt? I am reading the Chronicles of Narnia to them, and of course, modeling Christianity and teaching and training them.

4. Sometimes I just have to hear Hello, It's Me by Todd Rundgren. It's just a nice pop song.

5. Without Jesus in my life, I would be so hopeless and afraid because we live in some crazy days. "If Jesus is a crutch, please give me two of them and a wheelchair too."

6. I still love BibleGateway.

7. I sent a drawing with the movie I'm returning to Netflix. I have a little Netflix love, because as I mentioned before: NO LATE FEES! I wonder if the associates will come here for a visit?

Hello NetFlix Associates!
Say Hello if you stop by, OK?
And keep up the good work!
Thanks!

8. I put the dog's dishes in the dishwasher along with ours and I am feeling a little troubled over that, although my friend Ani*, who works for a vet, assured me that it would be OK and we would not get doggie cooties. It goes against my OCD tendencies, but I rationalized it by saying that the sink and dish strainer and dishcloths would not be touching Our Boy's dishes. Therefore, it would be be less area and things to clean up after cleaning up his things. Everything would be hot and sterilized and contained to the dishwasher.

How Wendy Reads

I have been wanting to write down this brief journal entry for almost a year now. It' a short one, about a single little memory and impression regarding my friend Wendy*. We went to a "girl's jamboree" event with our daughters and their friend. We spent a couple of nights in a dorm room, her bed was next to mine. I was restless, fighting a cold and not sleeping well. I remember dozing off to sleep in the near dark of the room, watching Wendy, because I am a side sleeper. She was quietly laying on her back in the bed across from me. She had a large book, roughly the size of a three ring binder resting across the length of her stomach. The book was face up and open. Her fingers glided in gentle, flowing horizontal lines across the pages, her head resting on her pillow and her face toward the ceiling. As I recall her hands and arms moved with the fluid grace of a dance movement. She was reading in the dark as we all slept. I have never seen anything like that before and it was lovely to behold. I believe she was reading the book of Jeremiah, or another prophet.

Photo by Abigail Parker, used with permission.

Observation on Apologies

I have noticed that some people will do various things things to assuage their conscience toward people they hurt in some way. They will do all kinds of things, from small to elaborate, from simple to costly, but they will not act right and not simply say they were sorry. Just a simple saying that costs nothing but pride. Strange, isn't it?

Vid Links I Like

I know that I have posted about liking the Neil Young song "Harvest Moon" before. Sometimes when I hear that song it just takes me to a place where I ache with love for my dear husband, and think about all the love we have built, shared and grown over these years. I was hankering for that song tonight, and came across this version by Jazz artist Cassandra Wilson. I hope you enjoy:




While I was thinking about these kind of sweet and tender feelings between lovers, I thought about the Lord. What if I longed for the Lord like I longed for my husband? What if I couldn't wait for that special time alone with Him? I know I should. And in fact, I do often crave and look forward to that time alone with the Lord. There are days when I can't wait to pray and to meditate and reflect quietly on His Word. But I believe through this little instance in my life, He was calling me gently and reminding me to do so even more. I know the Bible describes the Lord as the lover of our soul (Is. 38:17). The entire Book of Song of Songs/Solomon is devoted to the aspect of God's character and revelation of Him, yet there are times when I forget. I forget that He is the Groom and all believers are his "Bride." That boggles my mind sometimes. I needed to be reminded that God thinks of me (and all believers) that way!


The following clip is about 15 minutes long, and when you, dear reader, have the time, watch it an tell me what you think. It blessed me down to my Birks!

Lobster Mini Season Notes

I recently had fresh lobster for dinner for the first time ever. It was pretty good. I enjoyed it all the more because it was caught by my oldest son. We have something down here called Lobster Mini Season which is a short 2-day season to whet your appetite for the regular season, which begins soon. I am not overly fond of lobster, but I did enjoy our fresh meal. I really like it when we can eat food that we have caught or grown ourselves.

Same oldest son also got his learner's driving permit, and a raise at his summer job. I am proud of him, and he certainly is flexing his independence muscles. I was concerned about him going diving during the lobster season, it's crazy with boaters, many of them not very cautious, but he was with capable Conch friends.

Notes from June

A coworker has turned me on to the above treat, found at our local Publix grocery store. Coconut just tastes so divine in the summer time. Try sprinkling the top with dark chocolate shavings. Not so decadent when you consider the health benefits of dark chocolate.

I thought this story was ironic when I came across it. *Sigh* A celebrity entertainer speaks of his disdain for reading while promoting his new book. Makes me want to shake my fist and say, this typifies what's wrong with the younger generation! Yes, indeed. Kan-yea shhmon-yea!

I am gearing up to work full time this summer and I am looking forward to all the field trips I will be chaperoning. I'd say, "Wish me luck," but I don't believe in luck. I believe in the Lord's blessings. It has been a long time since I worked full time, outside the home. I had a taste of it when I did my little retail stint the last few years, but only for about a month during each Christmas season. We will adjust and survive.

I know the above bumper sticker is snarky and sarcastic, but I think it's rather funny. You can find more at the Lark News site, they are a Christian humor and parody site. Laughter truly is good for the soul, and sometimes we, as Christians, just have to laugh at ourselves.

My Fellow Bloggers...

You may or may not have noticed that I changed some of the links on my blog roll over there on the right hand side. Please don't take it personally if I removed your blog link, I was just doing a little spring cleaning. I really enjoy all the blogs I link(ed) too, but I noticed that a few of them were not active for 6 or more months. So in the interest of being interesting and current, albeit in my own limited way, I was just doing a little tidying. I have you all saved in my favorite bookmarks and will continue to check on them. And when there is some more blogging afoot, then I will link away (again)! I miss you guys! I have also come across some new blogs lately and I am enjoying them. What are your favorite blogs? Share a link if you like.

Big Daddy took this beautiful sunset picture the other evening. He really has a good eye, and it runs in the family because one of his sisters is a very gifted, self-taught professional photographer. (I also like to think that spending a couple of decades with an artistic wife has rubbed off on him a bit, too.) I think he is inspired by her talent because he is taking many good pictures of the children and their teammates at games. That is how his sister got started with becoming passionate about photography. I love it when we can inspire, learn and encourage each other to good works. It is a blessing that he now has a bit more time to do these types of things he loves, ministry included (and actually imbued in all he does), instead of working himself to exhaustion just to support us. I do believe he's enjoying this season of life, but I can't presume to speak for him. It's just a nice little thing I've noticed.

When Doves Coo, When Roosters Crow

Having joined FaceBook recently, I became the recipient of one of the questionnaires that get passed around there. It’s a pleasant enough exercise to fill out for oneself. I enjoy reading the ones my friends have filled out, it helps one to know and understand them a little better, particularly friends that are distant and I have been out of touch with. The question that provoked my thoughts on this post was, “What is your favorite sound?”

I couldn’t just pick one. There are many I enjoy. This is not exhaustive and today is not the day to wax poetically about rain on a tin roof, the laughter of children or the sounds of the sea shore. I'm thinking about bird sounds today, as you probably guessed from the title.

When we first moved to Central Florida my parents chose a home in a subdivision that was quite wooded, this in itself was in contrast to most of the newer neighborhoods that they looked at. There were pine trees and old oaks in abundance. I remember falling asleep to the sounds of a Mourning dove cooing, though I had no idea at the time what kind of bird was soothing me. Which is ironic when I consider how many times I rocked out to a certain song, the lyrics saying, “Just like a white-winged dove, sings a song, sounds like…oooh, baby, oooh, said oooh.” How pleasant it was to fall asleep, or wake up with fresh air and the sounds of the doves wafting in on the breeze.

There are many doves around here. However, until recently I was not able to hear their gentle song because of the sounds of another bird: The noble rooster. Roosters seem to polarize, they are either loved or hated. They are most abundant in Key West, and less so here in the middle Keys, but their presence has been steady since we moved here about 10 months ago. (You can read more about Keys Roosters here, if you like.) I personally enjoy their crowing, though I will admit to threatening one particular fellow who begins his “sunrise” at 2:30 am, if he‘s in our yard while crowing! Most nights this doesn’t even bother me, but on sleepless nights, when I’m sick, or restless or grouchy, I have threatened to ring his neck and put him in my pot! The sound of a faraway rooster crowing is comforting; the sound of him right under your window is “alarming”. For now though, I don’t think I’ll have to worry about it since I have not heard the rooster for a solid week. Wonder what happened to him? I can guess…

So Fresh, So Clean (so green)

Well, you know I am hanging my clothes out to dry (I blogged about it last summer here), as the weather permits. Which is quite often here in the Keys. I believe we get an average of only 40” of rain a year, which isn't very much, and we have very fair weather, no ice or snow ever. I began making my own laundry detergent again, and rather than rinsing with fabric softener, I put a little plain white vinegar in the rinse cycle. I have been doing the vinegar rinse for a couple of years now. I find it especially effective with my husband's dirty clothes when he does construction work. Our clothes are sun and wind dried, clean an fragrance free(except when I use a little Doc Bronner’s lavender castille soap rather than my own concoction).

Nobody in my home is hyper-allergic, and I actually like the smell of some detergents and fabric softeners. It’s just that I also like things to be natural, simple and clean whenever possible, and think it’s important to cut down on strong or harsh chemicals.

This lack of fragrance really hit home last week when we were preparing for the church rummage sale. A lady generously gave us all of the items she didn’t sell at her own yard sale, and there was an abundance of good stuff. Since the Lord takes such good care of us, wouldn’t you just know there were some nice, gently used clothes in our daughter’s size, and right when we need them! The clothes and other items from this kind lady were so clean and in such good condition they didn’t even need to be washed before we used them. However, because we are not used to all of the fragrances that commercial laundry products have anymore - the scent was so powerful! I dare say it bothered me a little bit!

So my lesson in this:
Once you get used to going a little greener, you don't even miss the old way you did things, and even get to preferring your new habits.
Here are the detergent recipes, if you're interested. I use recipe #6 with Fels-Naptha soap.

Odd Observation

This morning, I saw a gleaming-white, large, Dodge Ram pick-up truck with black Louis Vuitton logos all over it.


Dude, get an Escalade (or a Lincoln). I'm just sayin'.

FaceBook

I resisted it for so long. After all, I only joined myspace this past summer. I am about 4+ years late on that trend. I joked that I would join facebook in a few years, to keep in line with my habitual tardiness. Well, I gave in this morning, and now I'm hooked.

My baby brother has moved all the way to Oregon, and he sent me a facebook e-vite this morning. How could I resist? Last week my Auntie and Sister-in-Law had also sent invitations. My brother's was the proverbial straw.

Facebook is like myspace but for adults. There is no pimping of your profile, at least not that I have noticed. It's just a basic way of staying in touch with family, friends and colleagues, both near and far. AND you can reconnect with of high school, college and even in some cases elementary school pals! I'm loving that so far. I also love, that since I'm using a glitchy old laptop (we'll shall call her sLola) I don't get all frozen up on facebook the way I do on myspace, what with every one's unique graphics and soundtracks loading.

So, I could have written something relevant and timely about the Inauguration, but alas, this be my online journal and I was feeling thusly, and a little piratey, too.

If you want a good Inauguration piece, check out PreacherPen's blog, he's listed over there on the right. Or this article from the Australian, or this article from Real Clear Politics, which I will quote:

He [Obama] also seems to want policies that are not just politically popular, or satisfy a political constituency, but also work. And therein lies the hope.

Anyway, I was moved by the Inauguration Ceremony, the prayers, and such. I was proud that our nation has overcome so many obstacles, yet I hope that will not keep our minds and hearts off of the real work that needs to be done to get this nation back on track. I must admit to a hopefulness, and I hope it isn't naive.


We must pray hard for our nation and its leaders.

Journal: A Note about Miami

average mannequin

This is just a weird observation. I went to a Miami mall a few weeks ago. I noticed the mannequins in many of the store windows had unusually large bosoms. It seemed odd to me but then: that's Miami. Plastic surgery is very common and popular there.

How To Defeat Yourself, Creatively Speaking

1. Don’t ever sit down in front of your drafting table with pencil or pen in hand.


2. Better yet, place an ironing board in front of the table, and stack it with junk, clothes, clutter and NONSENSE!


3. Tell yourself you will tidy it up and get on track tomorrow, or Saturday, or Monday.


4. Keep telling yourself that and NOT actually do it.




I finally cleared off the ironing board yesterday and put it away where it belongs! I’m not making any resolutions about it or anything. I’m just saying that I cleared a path, and the drafting table is in a slanted position, so clutter cannot stick to it.


As of today's date, my dear and beloved Mother is a 10 year breast cancer survivor. I thank The Good Lord, for my Mom and the time He has given us.

Watch Night - New Year's Eve

I have been going to Watch Night Services since I became a Christian in the early 1990's. When Big Daddy was appointed to his first church and we were planning our first Watch Night service as a ministry couple, I found this article on the history of such services to be very interesting. After all, I grew up Roman Catholic, in the Northeast and then later moved to the West Coast, and I had never heard of this kind of service before. The article I linked is an essay by Charyn D. Sutton. The churches where I spent my early Christian years and discipleship were predominantly Caucasian, so I was particularly fascinated by the article. Watch Night Services are strongly rooted in the African-American church tradition, and are not unheard of within the Pentecostal Community overall.


We are within the Church of God (Cleveland, TN) denomination, and the practice seems common here in the Southeastern US. Our denomination was founded by several Methodists, among others. It seems that John Wesley had established this practice among the Methodists early on. Our sister denomination, The Assemblies of God, began with the Azuza Street Pentecostal Outpouring. That event was diverse, ethnically and socially, from the very beginning. I also add to those factors that Florida is near the Bahamas and Caribbean, with many immigrants from those areas. Some of those cultural influences have strong Christian practices and history. I was very interested to find that the The Moravian Church missionaries were the first to go in many parts of the world, including the Caribbean in the 1730's. The Moravian Church seems to be the first to hold Watch Night Services.

I also checked snopes.com, and they are skeptical about the portion of the first article I linked in regards African-American slaves being sold on New Years Day, as well as any other type of debt or financial transactions occurring on that day. Snopes had an email forward version of Sutton’s essay. However, the version they had was not completely the same and not even attributed to Sutton. So, you can do the research yourself if you like, and draw your own conclusions. It’s indisputable, though, that Watch Night became tied to the African-American community because of the Emancipation Proclamation in 1863.


Wikipedia says this:

“Many religious communities have a tradition of New Year's Eve being known as "Watch Night". The faithful of the community congregate in worship services commencing New Year's Eve night and continuing past midnight into the New Year. The Watch Night is a time for giving thanks for the blessings of the outgoing year and praying for divine favor during the upcoming year. Though held by some to have begun in the African American community, watch night can actually be traced back to a sect of Christians known as the Moravians who held the first Watch night Service in Herrnhut, Saxony, in 1732. The practice was later adopted by John Wesley, the founder of Methodism. Watch Night did take on special significance to African Americans on New Year's Eve 1862, however, as slaves eagerly awaited the arrival of January 1, 1863—the effective date of the Emancipation Proclamation. This particular New Year's Eve became known as "Freedom's Eve."”

Along with the prayers of thanksgiving and reflection, we do some other things in our service. We celebrate by taking Communion, and following Jesus’ humble example and washing each other’s feet, see here.

I pray that whatever you do this New Year’s Eve, you will take a moment to reflect on the past and the future and on the One who holds your life in His hands. Just as the slaves gathered in churches to pray for and await the news of their freedom, realize God has given us all a freedom in Christ.

Be safe and enjoy yourself.
Happy New Year!



Edited to add this link to Michael Benjamin's blog and a good piece he wrote about Watch Night, which contains Charyn Sutton's article now that the link in the first paragraph is no longer available.

The World’s A Mess, It’s In my Kiss

I really want to get out of this gloomy rut, but circumstances won’t permit. I heard some really bad news yesterday. Several notions are jangling around in my head. I am trying to sort them all out and find a common thread in which to tie them all together and communicate clearly my recent feelings about life, death, love, family, faith and the world we live in.


“…no one is united all things are untied…”
First of all let me just say, the holidays can really suck for some people. I normally don’t like to talk like that. I strive to be erudite, but frankly there are times when the basic slang just fits better than anything else. When there is loss or pain regarding loved ones, the holidays can amplify it. This is especially true when it’s the fresh and raw pain of a recent bereavement or any hurt of a similar nature. That brings me to the bad news. It happens that a cousin of some dear friends of ours, Marissa* has lost her beloved husband to a tragic overdose. She has two young children. I cannot stop thinking about her. In my life and in the ministry I have witnessed many similar tragedies. All I can say is that my heart simply breaks for Marissa and I can’t imagine what they must be going through. I also can’t help but think of the people in my own family who struggle with similar addictions, and frankly it concerns me.


“…perhaps we're boiling over inside…”
Admittedly, I was already a little blue from grieving over the anniversary of my Dad’s passing. I was grateful for small mercies that week. I ended up not having to do jury duty. That same week my brother had either a mini-breakdown or a relapse and was hospitalized. Coincidence? Then the holiday came. My emotions were a bittersweet mixed bag from spending time with some family, and not spending time with others and trying not to dwell on any of it too much.


“…there are devils in many ways…”
Then there is the world news. The StuffMart* employee trampled by customers eager to grab a bargain in the early morning hours on Black Friday.
The mental picture of a two-year old smeared in his parents’ blood and wailing inconsolably near their dead bodies in the terrorist attacks in Mumbai haunts me. Equally troubling is the vision in my mind of the Korean woman who phoned her husband while she was a hostage, and was later found dead in that same string of attacks. To top it all off Natalie Holloway was likely sold for $10 grand to a man whose plans for her I don’t even want to think about.


So, pardon me for not feeling like a Hallmark Card or a Norman Rockwell painting this year. This world and many families are hurting. Greed and hatred are running rampant as are every other kind of hideous illegal or immoral action.


What are we to do in this pitiful and terrible world? What are we to do about all of the hurt so many of us are going through? I know what I’m going to do. I’m not going to lose hope. The Bible says to not be overcome with evil, but to overcome evil with good. The ultimate good is Jesus Christ, and the work He did and the things He taught. Even if I don’t actively practice evil like the terrorists, rapists and other nefarious persons in this world, if I give into hopelessness, depression, inaction or isolation I am still letting evil win.


I’m also going to realize what the Bible means when it says the little foxes spoil the vines. That means that even “little” sins like a bit of greed, some harsh and undeserving words, selfishness (and the like) all have their end in spoiling that which is good and noble. Those “little” sinful acts are the first steps down a slippery slope that makes one more susceptible to being capable of doing the big sinful things.


I am also going to really count my blessings. In that counting I’m going to remember that our lives are fragile. We never know when the last time we see someone we love might be. All of these tragedies with such unexpected deaths have reminded me of that. I say that not so we live in mortal fear and constant dread. I say it because I’m using it to remind myself to be a little kinder and a little more patient. I’d like to be more unselfish and forgiving. Neither myself nor my family is perfect, but it is the family I have been given. When I weigh the sum of how we act and interact with the weight of eternity, I want to say that I did my best. By the help and grace of God, which is not just a saying to me but a fact and a prayer, I want to be able to examine myself and say that I loved them good.


"...take it like a man..."
I want to accept the reality of family life this year, and embrace it rather than obsess over it. This year our Thanksgiving table was set for seven. In years past it was at least double that! I will not try to obsess over why or what has changed with the family. I will remember the many good years and family times, realizing that change is an inevitable part of life. I will celebrate this season that our family is in, and enjoy it as it is, rather than pine for what it is not. That would be futile. I looked around that little table and realized those were the people I loved the most in this world. That’s not to say that I don’t love so many others as deeply. Rather those present are the ones I’m most closely tied to, for better and for worse. Yes, I said “for worse,” which is how it is sometimes with family. Sometimes it feels like the love is not always reciprocated. I’m realizing that the bond of family is strong, stronger than our individual weaknesses. I myself have many shortcomings. I am struggling to get this plank of wood out of my own eye, I would like to be my “brother’s keeper” as much as is healthy and possible.


O.K., then! Now that I wrote all that out, I find myself not feeling so gloomy.
King David often started his psalms with cries of dispair, asking for help in trouble. He ended them in faith-filled words of resolve because he knew God in His mercy would prevail. I will echo that!
You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,
that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!*


Blessings~from e.b.


Song lyrics in red are from “The World’s A Mess, It’s In My Kiss” by X (the best Punk-Rock band ever)
*From Psalm 30

Baby-Man

I have noticed a certain personality characteristic some men have that I call “Baby Man.” I have observed people with this personality type in various ages, education levels and socio-economic backgrounds. These types of people can be especially challenging to deal with, and it’s especially tricky to rally round the women who love such men. The range of hurt and frustration these women display is nearly as potent as the other more aggressive kinds of marital dysfunction. Inevitably the wives are the ones who have to deal with and suffer from their attachment to these man-babies.


A “Baby-Man” is a grown man who acts like a child. Many of these men are delightful and charming, and other than this, they are good and likable fellows. Nobody is one-dimensional, and I realize that these guys have other qualities, they are more than their immaturity, but that is difficult to catch sight of after awhile. I am not talking about folks who have an off day where they indulge their inner-child or occasionally act childish. I am not talking about those who keep a child-like wonder with life, or even have some kid-like or fan-boy hobbies. My mom jokingly says, “Fellas don‘t start to mature until 30.” There’s a bit of truth in that notion, at least in our little sphere of experience, and guys I mean you no disrespect. Lord knows we women have our own issues. How many of us grew up together as we walked through married life? I know Big Daddy and I BOTH have.


I am talking about grown men who have responsibilities and commitments, yet consistently choose to act as selfishly and irresponsibly as if they were in middle school. Have you run into the type? They flit from one job to another, each time claiming the next one is the one that’s really their calling in life. They claim the reasons their previous jobs and schemes didn’t work out is due to some other factor or person. The economy went bad, their boss or co-worker had it in for them, or some other explanation that is difficult to believe because year after year, it’s the same old story. Whereas some people learn from their past mistakes, growing and making gradual improvements, these people refuse to accept responsibility and make necessary changes. They stay stuck in adolescent fantasy. When describing their latest plan/job/etc., they have all the zeal of a spoiled adolescent boy describing and selling the latest gaming system to his parents in hopes they will buy it for him soon. That includes explaining how lame the previous one has become.


Their wives or partners suffer the fall out of a life in constant upheaval. They move often or change jobs often or often have troubles due to the baby-man’s short attention span and his constant appetite for another toy to play with or another distraction to occupy him. Often it leads to debt or bad credit. Unfortunately that appetite can often include infidelity - which is the ultimate betrayal these poor women suffer. Yet somehow, the Baby-Men always seem to garner sympathy from their partners because of the off balanced thing in their relationships.


What is that thing?


I’m guessing that often their wives’ or partner’s nurturing instinct overrides her wifely sensibilities. Women can naturally be more nurturing than men, and these kinds of guys use that to their advantage. If a wife were to really think about it, it’s kind of lame, un-sexy and un-natural to fall into a mothering dynamic with a husband. We are to take our vows seriously, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, honoring and cherishing each other. In healthy relationships, certainly that includes caring for each other and nurturing each other. These kinds of men are masters at taking that notion and running with it until it breaks any semblance of a caring, mature relationship and warp it into a life where they have a mama that caters to their every whim, indulges them like a spoiled child and sleeps with them. If she's not actually catering to her Man-Baby's whims, she's putting up with it, running flusteredly around cleaning up the messes the way a busy mom runs after an active and impish toddler.


When the Man-Boys don’t get their way, they make life miserable for their partner, and I frequently observe them employing the techniques I see children employ to get their way: Tantrums, running away, manipulation, bargaining, and pouting. At other times they are on their best behavior, this happens when they are wanting something or after they get caught doing something bad and they’re trying to make up for it. These Baby-Men remind me of that old Judy Brady essay, but I believe these men go much, much further. That essay was written in the early 1970s. Oh how the dynamics of relationships have changed since then! Our culture has changed as well, some things for better and some for worse. Many of the men I’ve encountered with this personality type are not the career-minded man of Brady’s essay. They shun work and school! They seem to want to sit around as much as possible and pay video games (or some other hobby) to excess, in that their families actually suffer financially or in other ways because of that. The first person they cater to in life, the person who’s utmost comfort is their primary concern is not their children or their wife, it‘s themselves.


I have often thought of the very plain and harsh words of St. Paul, here, regarding men who won’t care for their own. Isn’t real love* about each partner putting the other one first? Some very satisfying and happy marriages have been built on that notion. I know I read somewhere a beautiful saying about “love being patient* and kind, not jealous or boastful or proud or rude and it does not demand its own way.”


So what can these women who are partnered to baby men do? I know a few of them have successfully encouraged their man-babies to grow up. It wasn’t always easy for them, but they found boundaries they could live with and set them. I believe the Lord would have us spur each other on to be better people and when we see serious character flaws, they must be addressed and dealt with. “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.” It’s time to grow up!


*Sorry, i'm stuck on that song and threw it in.
*the love chapter

A Brown-Eyed American Girl Looks at 40

What can I say? I wanted to write something clever, insightful and funny about my milestone. But you know me. So, this will be more like a whining journal entry from an overgrown emo kid. I thank God I made it this far. I feel my 40 years and I’m at peace with them right now. When I was about 32 or so, I kind of freaked out a little. I suppose if you would have asked me then I would have said, I can’t see myself at thirty, I don’t want a lacquered thirty...Jefferson I think we're lost. I was overweight, unhappy about some things. My hair was getting more gray. For several years I had this single gray hair that grew in the same place and I could just pluck it out. Then came multiple gray hairs. I got highlights which was nice, they camouflaged the gray, until the day my hairdresser overdid it and fried my hair. I let it grow out and have not had it done since. Back then I even began to lie about my age, shaving off a few years. Can you believe it? A pastor’s wife lying about her age, well you know I didn’t get away with that nonsense for long. Then something happened, I began to consciously just try be happy with myself. OK, I wasn’t hard on other people who were chubby, flustered or fill-in-the-blank. So why was I so hard on myself? Yes, I could stand to lose a few pounds, but until I do, I am not going to beat myself up over it. It’s sort of like the Serenity Prayer, I was changing the things I could, accepting the things I couldn’t and beginning to seek the Lord for the wisdom to know the difference in it all. So I’m counting my blessings. I’ve had a good life so far. I was adopted by wonderful parents, I was given up for adoption by wonderful parents. I feel like I had a really happy childhood and not everyone can say that. I found a excellent man. He’s an honorable husband and a darn good father. We have our ups and downs, but overall I feel like we might be hitting our stride, and that feels pretty good. I have three children that are the absolute cat’s pajamas. I’m happy with my life. I’m still overweight, I’m still not quite the productive artist I’d like to be, but I know that I have been blessed and I know who has sent those blessings my way. Really, that is the key. Before I had a spiritual awakening, conversion, whatever you want to call it, I had no lasting peace or happiness in my life. Since that conversion, my faith, hope and trust are in Jesus Christ and that has made a difference for me. So I thank God for these 40 years and ask Him to help me live another 40 or so, and be a reflection of some of His goodness while He gives me the time. Some days I still feel like the scared and confused 14 year old who stood alone on her balcony listening to cars roll by, down on 441, like waves crashing on the beach (on US 1, really, I could hear the waves and the cars). How many desperate moments did I have then? Other days I feel like singing, Sha la la la....Sha la la la La dee da! One thing for sure I do not feel like an over forty victim of fate. Pardon me for sounding like a cliché, sometimes the lights all shining on me, other times I can barely see, lately it occurs to me, what a long, strange trip it’s been. I think what I realize more and more now, is just how little I do know, how much more I’d like to learn and do, and when my time is up, will my Heavenly Father be happy with what I’ve done? Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.


*for the first person to correctly name all the song lyrics and artists I referenced in the above post, there will be a free prize, a little peice of original art from yours truly. répondez s'il vous plaît.

Insanity, Procrastination & Change

One of Big Daddy’s favorite quotes is the following from Albert Einstein:
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
He uses this in his messages from time to time. He illustrates it by walking into a wall several times. Then he will finally stop and turn, or open a door. It drives the point home.

So, today, dear readers, I’ll let you in on a secret. From the biggest things in your life to the smallest, don’t expect any change for the better until you change. The “you” is “me” and I’m writing this to myself. God will send you help if you want to change for the better, but He expects some effort on your part. Only the smallest effort. A hand reaching up. A sincerely whispered, ‘I’m sorry.” A realization. Aha! But if you continue in your old patterns and habits, things will stay the same or get worse.

I will not be happy, completely happy until I pick up a paintbrush, or pencil, or charcoal or something REGULARLY and put it to paper! The dry spell won’t stop until I start. Doing. Regularly. Like. Brushing. My. Teeth.

What insanity are you striving to overcome?

I am also striving to floss daily. I hate it, but I know it’s good for me.

The Caylee Protest Melee

It’s difficult to live in Florida without being aware of the disappearance of Caylee Anthony. My Mom lives in Central Florida, where this occurred, and has been following the story in the news due to sympathetic concern. This story has also made national headlines, so the chances are fairly certain that many throughout the USA have heard about it. It’s a sad story and it merits our prayerful concern, to be sure. I am also concerned about one other aspect of the case. For many reasons, this has caught people’s hearts and attention in such a way they feel a strong need for a public demonstration. This case has provoked many people to gather daily outside the home of the Anthony Family. Some gather in support, and some in protest of the Anthony’s, see here. There have been yelling matches and shoving confrontations outside their home, and none of it has done any good toward solving the mystery of what happened to this little girl. I urge those who feel compelled to protest (or support) the family, to really think hard about what they are doing, and what possible outcome it could provoke. If they still feel obliged to react in public, please review and adopt the non-violent and peaceful methods that Gandhi, Rev. Dr. King and many others used in protests. They have proven to be just as effective, if not more so, than the shouting and hoopla that have so far characterized the Caylee protests. Granted, Gandhi and Dr. King were protesting major and grave social injustices. Their campaigns were successful. How much more successful could these methods be if applied to those gathering in sad unity and outrage over the possible kidnapping or murder of this child? I think very effective. Please consider that while the Anthony family does appear suspicious, they are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. They are experiencing this loss and grief in a way most of us cannot imagine, and God forbid any of us should have to walk in their shoes. Please bear in mind that the entire neighborhood where the protests occur is impacted by the demonstrations. Many innocent bystanders are negatively effected by this, and they deserve consideration. How could the protest continue, but with the least amount of disruption to all of the neighbors? I beg the protesters to think hard about all of this. Why not adopt the non-violent and peaceful protest methods of Gandhi and Dr. King? If the point of protest is compassion for a little girl in peril, a silent and prayerful candlelight vigil is more productive than a messy screaming match. If the point is to show antagonism and suspicion toward the Anthony family, I believe a silent sit-in would be the most effective course of action. For those that suppose the Anthony’s guilt or compliance in the disappearance, wouldn’t a silent protest show that many are wary of them? Yet it would still be respectful of the grief that surrounds the entire situation, and show respect to the neighbors. Just imagine yourself in this situation - first as the Anthony’s, and then as the neighbors. How would you feel if this was going on outside your home and down your street?

E-mail Frauds, Forwards and Inaccuracies

PreacherPen had a recent post on his blog regarding an e-mail he received about Barack O’Bama. There has been an abundance of incorrect information going about these days via e-mails, blogs, and the web. The political season we’re in here in the USA has seen much buzz all over the internet particularly pertaining to the candidates. Before you pass on any sort of email forward, please check it and verify if it is true. My two favorite forward fact checking sites are snopes.com and truthorfiction.com. PreacherPen also has a good one linked in his post.

We got our first internet hook-up around 2000 or 2001. When people sent me email forwards, as they inevitably did, they were part of this whole new world opening up for me. I was so amazed by it all, I did not think very deeply about the forwards. I just passed them on. Some were funny, inspirational, or sad. Some were little editorials supposedly by well known personalities and pundits like Andy Rooney, George Carlin, and Ben Stein. Some were prayer requests, and some were chain letters. Some were warnings, petitions and newsy. My wake up call came when I forwarded this one particularly horrible and tragic story to a friend. She had the wisdom to gently ask me not to send her and forwards or stories like that anymore. It was too painful and upsetting, she said. And you know what? She was right. Even now, I shudder at remembering such a sad, disturbing, and true story. For an instant I was embarrassed of myself and then had an epiphany: Why in the world was I sending such stuff? I began to do research and discovered snopes. I finally made a decision to not forward anymore. The straw that broke the camel’s back for me was another forward for a gut-wrenching prayer request with a photo of a little boy. According to the verification sites, no such person ever existed and it appeared to be a random story with a random picture, a complete fabrication. Then I discovered that the petitions are also a fluke and I said no more forwards! I don’t think this helped my popularity with some, for I don’t get many emails anymore from some of the people who used to forward me things. I would enjoy hearing from them about their life. Give me an update on you, as I’d love to hear about what is really going on with you. Brag about you kids, complain about your boss, tell me about your vacation, whatever! Email me anytime and tell me how you are! On the other hand, some people, like my honest friend were alienated or annoyed by my penchant to forward ghastly and gloomy stories or “witness” to them with the inspirational forwards. For that, and to those people, I do apologize.

Occasionally there are a few good forwards going around. I’m not adverse to the occasional one, so long as it’s true and/or really, really good.

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”