The World’s A Mess, It’s In my Kiss

I really want to get out of this gloomy rut, but circumstances won’t permit. I heard some really bad news yesterday. Several notions are jangling around in my head. I am trying to sort them all out and find a common thread in which to tie them all together and communicate clearly my recent feelings about life, death, love, family, faith and the world we live in.


“…no one is united all things are untied…”
First of all let me just say, the holidays can really suck for some people. I normally don’t like to talk like that. I strive to be erudite, but frankly there are times when the basic slang just fits better than anything else. When there is loss or pain regarding loved ones, the holidays can amplify it. This is especially true when it’s the fresh and raw pain of a recent bereavement or any hurt of a similar nature. That brings me to the bad news. It happens that a cousin of some dear friends of ours, Marissa* has lost her beloved husband to a tragic overdose. She has two young children. I cannot stop thinking about her. In my life and in the ministry I have witnessed many similar tragedies. All I can say is that my heart simply breaks for Marissa and I can’t imagine what they must be going through. I also can’t help but think of the people in my own family who struggle with similar addictions, and frankly it concerns me.


“…perhaps we're boiling over inside…”
Admittedly, I was already a little blue from grieving over the anniversary of my Dad’s passing. I was grateful for small mercies that week. I ended up not having to do jury duty. That same week my brother had either a mini-breakdown or a relapse and was hospitalized. Coincidence? Then the holiday came. My emotions were a bittersweet mixed bag from spending time with some family, and not spending time with others and trying not to dwell on any of it too much.


“…there are devils in many ways…”
Then there is the world news. The StuffMart* employee trampled by customers eager to grab a bargain in the early morning hours on Black Friday.
The mental picture of a two-year old smeared in his parents’ blood and wailing inconsolably near their dead bodies in the terrorist attacks in Mumbai haunts me. Equally troubling is the vision in my mind of the Korean woman who phoned her husband while she was a hostage, and was later found dead in that same string of attacks. To top it all off Natalie Holloway was likely sold for $10 grand to a man whose plans for her I don’t even want to think about.


So, pardon me for not feeling like a Hallmark Card or a Norman Rockwell painting this year. This world and many families are hurting. Greed and hatred are running rampant as are every other kind of hideous illegal or immoral action.


What are we to do in this pitiful and terrible world? What are we to do about all of the hurt so many of us are going through? I know what I’m going to do. I’m not going to lose hope. The Bible says to not be overcome with evil, but to overcome evil with good. The ultimate good is Jesus Christ, and the work He did and the things He taught. Even if I don’t actively practice evil like the terrorists, rapists and other nefarious persons in this world, if I give into hopelessness, depression, inaction or isolation I am still letting evil win.


I’m also going to realize what the Bible means when it says the little foxes spoil the vines. That means that even “little” sins like a bit of greed, some harsh and undeserving words, selfishness (and the like) all have their end in spoiling that which is good and noble. Those “little” sinful acts are the first steps down a slippery slope that makes one more susceptible to being capable of doing the big sinful things.


I am also going to really count my blessings. In that counting I’m going to remember that our lives are fragile. We never know when the last time we see someone we love might be. All of these tragedies with such unexpected deaths have reminded me of that. I say that not so we live in mortal fear and constant dread. I say it because I’m using it to remind myself to be a little kinder and a little more patient. I’d like to be more unselfish and forgiving. Neither myself nor my family is perfect, but it is the family I have been given. When I weigh the sum of how we act and interact with the weight of eternity, I want to say that I did my best. By the help and grace of God, which is not just a saying to me but a fact and a prayer, I want to be able to examine myself and say that I loved them good.


"...take it like a man..."
I want to accept the reality of family life this year, and embrace it rather than obsess over it. This year our Thanksgiving table was set for seven. In years past it was at least double that! I will not try to obsess over why or what has changed with the family. I will remember the many good years and family times, realizing that change is an inevitable part of life. I will celebrate this season that our family is in, and enjoy it as it is, rather than pine for what it is not. That would be futile. I looked around that little table and realized those were the people I loved the most in this world. That’s not to say that I don’t love so many others as deeply. Rather those present are the ones I’m most closely tied to, for better and for worse. Yes, I said “for worse,” which is how it is sometimes with family. Sometimes it feels like the love is not always reciprocated. I’m realizing that the bond of family is strong, stronger than our individual weaknesses. I myself have many shortcomings. I am struggling to get this plank of wood out of my own eye, I would like to be my “brother’s keeper” as much as is healthy and possible.


O.K., then! Now that I wrote all that out, I find myself not feeling so gloomy.
King David often started his psalms with cries of dispair, asking for help in trouble. He ended them in faith-filled words of resolve because he knew God in His mercy would prevail. I will echo that!
You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,
that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!*


Blessings~from e.b.


Song lyrics in red are from “The World’s A Mess, It’s In My Kiss” by X (the best Punk-Rock band ever)
*From Psalm 30