I nearly lost him last week...

...and it would have crushed me, literally, it makes me feel more weird than I can put into words (and not the good weird). Big Daddy is learning SCUBA, and there was a malfunction with the equipment. Mercifully, it was during a learning dive and his instructor was nearby. He's fine, physically, but mentally and emotionally it gave us a hard shake. Is this the year of realizing we are mortal or what? So much death and loss, and I shudder to think that Big Daddy was so near it himself. A facebook acquaintance, a vibrant young woman with a young child lost her young husband recently, and a friend of a friend from our old hardcore/punk days also died that same week. So, how do we react to these regular reminders of our very impermanent lives? I can only say what works for me: First, I pray for the comfort and strength for those whose lives are most affected by the loss. I reflect on Our Maker, look to Jesus, make sure my soul is in its right perspective and position, I like these steps to peace with God. Then, I make sure I am a little kinder, a little more gentle with my significant people. The bible says to not let the sun go down on our anger, meaning literally not to go to bed still angry with someone. I try to take that a step further when I'm able and to make things right a.s.a.p., even with just the regular kind of nagging and fussing that goes with kids and life and marriage. It doesn't hurt to take a little time to just be kind and part on a positive note, even if we're just leaving for school or work or the corner gas.

Finding comfort and sense when it's scarce...
Well, sometimes it can't be found. So I just try to do all the little things I ought to do and I don't let myself wallow for too long. Today the windows are open and I am listening to relaxing classical tunes on grooveshark. And it helps a little.


And for my Polish readers, I learned this proverb:
Dobry człowiek nawet w tawernie nie będzie zepsuty, zły nawet w kościele nie naprawią drogę (ale zawsze jest nadzieja dla grzeszników: Jezusa).