I had a spiritual awakening and became a Christian while I was pregnant with my first child. I toted my baby along with me to every church service, revival, bible study I could. I even brought him with me on home and hospital visits, probably a little unadvisedly, but he’s none the worse for it. When he was fussy, I did all kinds of things to distract him. I gently and firmly eased him into realizing that he could play quietly in church, but if he was going to be disruptive enough to make me have to take him out, it would not be fun. I used positive and negative reinforcement. So when I had other children or had occasion to help our with friends' children in church, I applied the same principals, suiting things to the different personalities of each child. Anyway this whole notion of children and church got me thinking of a word that is very popular today, “organic.”
Organic - 2. developing naturally: occurring or developing gradually and naturally, without being forced or contrived 3. intrinsic: forming a basic and inherent part of something and largely responsible for its identity or makeup
I am not an extreme advocate of home-schooling, attachment parenting and co-sleeping, however, I see the value and the lessons we can learn from those concepts, and I respect them. The older children get, the more they naturally grow apart from their family. That is how we humans develop and become independent. Conversely, the younger children are, the more they benefit from being close to their parents through the course of daily life. In the younger years they learn and observe, as by osmosis, at their parents' side, as they are gradually launched toward independence.
We believe there should be a certain amount of age-specific spiritual training for children separate from the greater church services. It seems that the popular mode of operating for most churches is to divide everyone into their age-specific and life-centric little category and then put them in that small group to learn. There is some value in that, and there are times when those kinds of classes are necessary in a church. Many people will not even attend a church that does not have a nursery, or a singles group, or other kind of group that is very specific to them. I think that is a shame. If our pattern is to be like Jesus, and His Disciples, and the First Century Church they began, then we must realize they built a church community where everyone came together. Jew and Gentile, men and women, young and old, rich and poor. Recall that even Jesus’ disciples wanted to keep the children separate, but He corrected them and told them to bring the children to Him right along with everyone else. That was a pretty radical idea at the time.
Some people hold the opinion that it's boring and inappropriate for children to be in church. Many parents are frazzled by a stressful week. When they arrive at church and their children act typically or even misbehave (as all children do at times), they’d prefer to have their child in another place. They’re sensitive to how others will feel about being disrupted, and perhaps they’d like to soak up the service without distraction. I can understand and relate to that. When parents need a break, as they surely do sometimes, it is the job of their friends within the church to run interference for them and help with the children. We need to pinch hit for one another. We need to understand that children will be a little immature and even noisy in service at times. They can be distracted and taken outside or to another room if necessary. Children will learn how to act in church and other places like restaurants, the more often they are taken to those places and taught, encouraged and expected to act accordingly.
Parents (or whatever other adult fulfills that role in their life) are their children’s first and most important teachers, and it seems the most natural thing to us when children are with their parents as often as possible. Togetherness as a family or community is a rarity today, everyone is busy and working and playing in different places. Children are with caregivers and coaches, and we almost expect the few hours of church we have together each week to be another time the baby is in the nursery, the toddler is in the 2-3 year old Sunday School Class and the teen is in youth group. Again, I am not saying that those various classes aren't valuable and don't have a place. I'm just saying that in our church, separate time is limited. Most of the time we encourage you to keep your child with you in the pew. You’ll be close to your child guiding by example and gentle encouragement, modeling what it is to be a Christian worshiping and learning in community with other Christians. That is why I say that when it comes to children, our ministry takes an organic approach.
Above picture from U.S. National Archive Photostream.
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